Relationships only work when the "human" factor is involved. Whether how much you love someone...hey wait a minute...what am i talking about. This can't be applied to all...well in this case I am talking about couples or trying to get the heart of someone. Okay, where was I.. ah yes..
All in all, I find myself doing things now without any reason. I took AP classes, paid for the AP tests, and now I am going to suffer while taking it, but hey its expected for AP students right? Well, I guess it counts for college credit now, that's the only point I see because I am going to a community college and then transferring.
Another thing is what I was talkin' about earlier, relationships. I used to really like this one girl, and well I spent every time I have online with her when shes on, but as of late, things happened. There was also a moment when she ostracized me, perhaps this is what led to my mixed feelings. And pretty soon, I can't really talk to her in public or in person much, which is the physical aspect. Physical aspects are what's needed in order to have a good relationship. I have been striving to do things for her, and at there were things at stake too. Now that that has been thought of, is this really worth it? I have so many questions. Why did I do things for her? Why did I liked her in the first place? Does she like me back at all? Why is she my only closest friend? Why are we so alike in the mind and yet we are silent in public?
An example of this would be me paying 25 dollars for a ticket to a seat at a formal place with a bunch of unknown Chinese people, powerful people, and a bouncer whom I took it personal to go see her pageant. I was really supportive. I gave Mom and Jeffrey grief just for this event. I soon got to see her, couldn't hug her. Couldn't talk much. Went home. It was a cold night. During the whole time, I was thinking of lost reason because I think I've lost reason startin' with APs and now my feelings for her. *sighs* oh well...
There is something at stake and I won't know much until I either go for her, or go into stasis and live life, meet new people, learn new things, and setting discipline for myself.
About Me
- WATCHMONK
- San Jose, California, United States
- I am a student..a scholar..a knowledge seeker..whatever it is that you people call it these days. Also a "Philoso-geek" as stated by Tim. I am a spiritualist type of person. I enjoy the strangest things such as the sound of foot steps on wood, the old fashioned 1920s-1960s, especially if its fiction or noir, and the manners of the yester-decades. I am a lover, I love everything, everyone, and God. My character is of a humanitarian, diplomat, teacher, and a pacifist as defined by the Meyer-Briggs Personality test. (If you are happen to be interested, I am an ENFJ or an INFJ-I took the long version and then a short version, respectively). I have a knack for starting things and never finishing them.. Complicated, I am not, but Simple, I am not. I seem to transcend between the two depending on the environment or I "hesitate". As a side note; I have multiple Aliases due to the "unnecessary" naming by my friends, myself, and for fun. In this blog, you may find truth, or at least the process of finding truth. However it may be, I mean no harm to anyone reading. I am merely rationalizing and writing down my impulsive thoughts.
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