I am a shell..

I am a shell..

That emotions, issues, thoughts, and peace can go through.

I am generally blank or empty within my mind.
I keep myself clearheaded as much as I can.
I keep myself as happy and calm as I can.
But when rage, anger, sadness, and emotion arises
I cannot handle myself. It just comes in and stay,
Stay, Stay, for a while, and then it just leaves.
Whether it leaves, by my own choice, or by time,
Is up to what has been "inputted" in me.
To Hold or to Release. To Push or to Obey.
To Apologize or to Ignore.
To Cry or to Die.
To Do or not to Do.


I basically wrote this when I figured out how I handled my anger.
I hold things in especially emotions or acts of violence/emotions right away when I see it.
My mind, emotion, and body are brimming with the fire, energy, and intensity.
I usually hold it until i can send it right back because of an "impulse" or I can just eat it down and suffer, hurting myself so that I don't hurt others. But really, it all depends on what happens and I don't like hurting or killing people ( which is why I try not to HATE but only to DISLIKE people).

April Virus?

There seems to be reports, rumors, and news of a computer virus that will come online tomorrow and go FUBAR on everything.

arrgh damn...this seems to be another part of GITS x.x

I had the link earlier lemme see if i can find it..nope i cant, well just search it on google :P

i suggest not usin ur comp for a day tomorrow...just in case...

good grief x.x

I posted this so there would be 20 posts in one month xD yeah.. i know waste of space :/

Infidelity Part 1...

GT P4R4D0X (11:06:26 PM): sighs

LuciferAkira (11:08:25 PM): what?

GT P4R4D0X (11:08:31 PM): nothing

GT P4R4D0X (11:08:33 PM): im just wonderin

GT P4R4D0X (11:08:38 PM): about infidelity

LuciferAkira (11:08:55 PM): what about it?

GT P4R4D0X (11:09:03 PM): just..Why?...

GT P4R4D0X (11:09:08 PM): :/

LuciferAkira (11:10:58 PM): Shitty relationship, shitty handling of shitty relationship. Shitty handling of certain factors within the relationship turned it into a shitty relationship.

LuciferAkira (11:11:31 PM): Sexual addiction

GT P4R4D0X (11:12:00 PM): shit you're good :O

GT P4R4D0X (11:12:25 PM): and like.. I can testify :O

GT P4R4D0X (11:12:29 PM): hmm what else?

LuciferAkira (11:13:47 PM): Boredom. Lack of interest. Changing worldview(s).

GT P4R4D0X (11:23:33 PM): whoa

GT P4R4D0X (11:23:35 PM): boredom?

GT P4R4D0X (11:23:35 PM): x.x

GT P4R4D0X (11:23:44 PM): yikes that must be awful :O

LuciferAkira (11:24:06 PM): typical porn-title story

LuciferAkira (11:24:12 PM): husband is a businessman

LuciferAkira (11:24:19 PM): hardly ever comes home

LuciferAkira (11:24:23 PM): wife gets bored

LuciferAkira (11:24:24 PM): wants sex

LuciferAkira (11:24:26 PM): no time

LuciferAkira (11:24:30 PM): has to find someone else.

GT P4R4D0X (11:25:20 PM): sighs

GT P4R4D0X (11:25:26 PM): amazing these humans huh

GT P4R4D0X (11:25:29 PM): theyr

GT P4R4D0X (11:25:33 PM): weak

LuciferAkira (11:27:55 PM): I wouldn't say that. Some prostitutes have changed the course of history.And some infidelities also prove how "childish" everyone is.

LuciferAkira (11:28:02 PM): *cough*Trojan War*cough*

GT P4R4D0X (11:28:15 PM): actually im not quite familiar with that

LuciferAkira (11:28:46 PM): http://www.cracked.com/article_17126_5-whores-who-changed-course-history.html

LuciferAkira (11:29:02 PM): Cracked is awesome

LuciferAkira (11:29:09 PM): you learn a lot

LuciferAkira (11:29:20 PM): knowledge is power

LuciferAkira (11:29:24 PM): and power is hilarious

GT P4R4D0X (11:38:53 PM): yeah cracked is good stuff

LuciferAkira (11:39:16 PM): I spend too much time reading it

Lawful Good

D&D Online Alignment Test
By David Noonan

Your Character’s Alignment

Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Lawful Good.

Lawful Good

A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. She combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. She tells the truth, keeps her word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion.

--excerpted from the Player’s Handbook, Chapter 6

Keep in mind the alignment suggested by the quiz is just that: a suggestion. It describes your character no better than a 36-question test would describe you. But it’s a good way to start thinking about how your character acts when confronted with issues of alignment.

Now that your character has taken the test, make a note of which questions scored in the opposite direction from your overall alignment. These exceptions can tell some interesting tales about your character Are you a good character with a greedy streak? Are you a lawful character who can’t stand the village elders? Don’t just roleplay your alignment -- roleplay your alignment exceptions, too. Few characters perfectly embody their alignment choice.

Try the test again

Changing Alignment

From time to time (say every three to five levels), it might be a good idea to retake this alignment test to see whether your character is experiencing "alignment drift." Perhaps you intended him to walk the straight and narrow, but (having fallen in with bad company), he’s becoming increasingly comfortable with behavior that would make his mentors blush. Or perhaps you intended her as a hard-bitten cynic, yet find that she’s the one who makes sure the rescued survivors get safely back to town, sometimes slipping them a few gold pieces to replace their losses.

Don’t despair: People change over time, and characters do too. Some become more lawful (there’s nothing like amassing a stockpile of loot to make you want banditry and thieving to stop). Others relax their earlier strictures to embrace a more flexible approach. The alignment you choose while creating the character may not be the alignment that best fits how you play that character. Retaking the test later on also has the advantage that, instead of abstract conditions, you can plug in specific examples of how the character behaved when faced with any of the situations outlined in the "test."

Note that some characters (paladins, clerics, monks) suffer consequences of shifting alignment. Consider this test a qualifying exam for beginning characters in this class ("Well, you seem to score poorly on lawfulness, Sir Eadgar -- are you sure you want to be a paladin?") and a moral and ethical compass for those already on their chosen path.

Read about the creation of the Hero Builder’s Guidebook in our Personality Spotlight interview!

Humans are dumb..

We Humans think we know everything once we have experimented and figured out certain aspects, facts, and have taken precautions. This applies for ALL subjects, fields, and criticisms.

Yes, this idea is quite based on the theory both nihilism and skepticism.

Man is arrogant especially in his way of "Rights". We have no rights. We have nothing but ourselves and our mind that our Creator has bestowed upon us. The only "right" we have is the authority to overcome Demonic Intentions, Deeds, and whatever the Devil does to us. But many of us don't use it and instead we just give into temptation, indulge and consume into gluttony, and destroy things for wrath and entertainment...

Indeed, all these Professors are truly professional and magnificent with their teaching abilities, you can say they are the masters of the subject. That is all I can say for them, but really, what DO we KNOW about the world? All they teach are just centuries of refinement of the "subject". hell, I even wonder how were the schools back then. Were they really good? Thomas Aquinas would be a good example, and so is Dante Aligheiri? Anywho, the only explanation for this is that education is considered as a school of thought, and by using theories that have been proven correct over the years, it has proven quite effective and has lead to the advancement of mankind.

Man has gotten cocky. They think they know everything by experience. And ironically these experience and wisdom are true at least to our extent, but really, it may not apply to "out there". Our gravity, in fact, our planet has everything that we will ever need. Biological lifeforms are all over the place along with natural resources. What we experience here such as gravity, temperature, and life are completely different on another planet. So what do we really know? Nothing except our own standards that we make up such as "lightyears" or "earth's gravity".

Another intersting point is the paranormal, and the "other world". Humans are not strong as the devils and angels, yet we have the authority to stay with God and believe in him so. And since the other beings besides God are much more valient, powerful, and or intelligent they must have communicated to us through our "way", our "earthbound" ways. The devil could be manipulating your anger and make you his instrument. The angels may guide us through signs that we can only understand, such as The Bible, and other things relevant to what we seek.

"What If? or What Is?" That is the question. Perception is what can deceive us. All of us have different ways of percieving especially the SAME object. For instance, there was a story that I have heard from mom. The best I can recall about it was that it was about a person who never really believed in God, but when that person went to Church, they saw Angels as the Holy Bible was about to be opened, meanwhile most other Churchgoers did not see this even though some of them truly believed. Another example would be something supernatural. One would see this "thing" as a bunch of speckles of light and dust while another would see the exact same thing as a ghost..freaky isn't it?

Well that's all the brain raking for now..and yes, I know it is incomplete..but this is quite complex @_@

Row! Row! Fight The Power!

A lil' sumtin fo fun~. It is a song that I have been addicted to as of late along with Libera Me From Hell, Nikopol(City of Victory), and gattai nante kusokurae!!(Uniting Can Kiss My Ass!!) Thank You animelyrics.com :)

Rappu ha Otoko no Tamashii da!
Onore wo Shinjite Ten wo Yubisasu
Dotou no Otoko Kamina-sama no Teema wo
Mimi no Ana Kappojitte Yo~ku Kikiyagare!!

Rap is the Soul of a Man! Perk Up Your Earholes and Listen REAL Close to the Theme of Lord Kamina, the Man of Raging Billows Who Believes in Himself and Points to Heaven!!

-Hook
do the impossible
see the invisible
raw! raw!
fight the power!

touch the untouchable
break the unbreakable
raw! raw!
fight the power!

what you gonna do is what you wanna do
just break the rule, then you see the truth
this is the theme of "G" coming through baby!
raw! raw!
fight the power!

-Verse1
power to the peeps, power for the dream
still missing piece scattering, so incomplete
we be the most incredible soldier from underground
see how easy, they all fall down
digging to the core to see the light
Let's get out of here babe, that's the way to survive
top of the head, I'm on the set
do the impossible, don't you wanna bet?
cuz, a lot of things changed, we be waiting in vain

if you wanna get by, no pain no gain
wow! fakers wanna test me again
(damn! suckers wanna test me again)
sorry, my rhyme's gonna snatch your brain
we gonna make it happen with the crazy rap
(I'm still starving for the straight up shit)
we gonna make it happen with the crazy rap skill (shit)
get ready to rumble, now is the time
if you don't know, now you know

(good luck fellows! ha ha)

-Hook

-Verse2
2nd verse dedicates to the real peeps
what we got to say is so real thing
(what we got to say is damn real thing)
cuz, revolution ain't never gonna televise
kicking the mad flow, microphone phenotype
(kicking the dope shit, microphone phenotype)
open your third eye, seeing through the overground
I'm mabout to hit you with the scream from the underground
whole city is covered with the cyber flavor
"G" is in your area, one of the toughest enigma
-Hook

No More Secrets...

"some things must not go outside of those who know"- Albert Nguyen

I am fighting against what is actually true and happenin' all over the military and political offices.

What am I to do? Well all I know is that this reminds me of the earlier post I have done about a cast of characters whom are working together and such and yadi yada~. *sighs*

Am I really fighting what i know is true? Is it even true? Is it even fair to me? As a close friend to Albert?

Well "eff dat quote!" Here's a response quote!
"I Prefer Knowin' Then Not Knowin'.." ---WatchMonk

With knowledge, comes power,
With Power, Comes freedom,
With Freedom, there is like no other...
Therefore, It is best to not be an Ignorant Fool
And be handled by an "elite" class whose
Will is to only themselves and your disadvantage..


WOW, that short poem has soo many different meanings in it and well..its ironic (on soo many levels) because of it xD