Speaking of Dolls, this is perfect! Just what the Gunslinger, GitS, and many other existentialist anime talks about. Just feel like this is what happens when u become...an empty shell--an empty obedient shell. But its a pretty nice idea and song if you think about it.
In cases such as these i'd like a hand
Don't wake me up without a master plan
With black & white instead of colour
Don't you understand?
When things that once were beautiful
Are bland
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of me
Haven for us
In truth there is no better place to be
Than falling out of darkness still to see
Without a premonition
Could you tell me where we stand?
I'd hate to lose this light
Before we land
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhileSoak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Credits to lyrics time and youtube and the band.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
New Take
Apparently, it appears that my style and point of view on life is changing. No more of that melodramtic teenage angst stuff. I thought it would be nice to look back at the blogs ive done and see what I have written. And oh man, its a doozy. I mean, I sound like THAT? geez..I sound soo self centered--but isnt that the point of a blog? a personal first person entry of me me me?~
My blog has taken on a new cahnge of thought. The way it is being conducted has also been cahnged..compared with 8 monthes ago...whew oh man.. x.x
My blog has taken on a new cahnge of thought. The way it is being conducted has also been cahnged..compared with 8 monthes ago...whew oh man.. x.x
What's in a Heart?
whats in a heart?
nothing but a few pieces of flesh and gallons of blood.
just a little bit of spices and alotta iron.
but what else is there to it?
what is there ?
what is it?
ah, yes, "it"
the metaphysical realm.
the heart, the soul, and the emotions.
something that none of us could ever forget.
it is that which was born with us the minute we exist.
our very own existence lies within our heart beat.
with each beat, we are alive.
it is a miracle that we are even breathing right now.
with each contraction, a determination
with each breath we take, a testament against death.
With each heart beat, a miracle
nonetheless
(part two) add on 20091205
We take it for granted
Heart health is a serious issue
in fact, all your organs have been taken for granted
ever looked at your skin and realized
that it is the biggest if not the most visable external organ?
But you smoke, you plead, you stress, and you hate.
All those stuff arent spose to be inhibiting from the body
much less say capable of doing so.
But people do anyway. dealingwith the external
not realizing that its the internal
mind, body, and spirit
nothing but a few pieces of flesh and gallons of blood.
just a little bit of spices and alotta iron.
but what else is there to it?
what is there ?
what is it?
ah, yes, "it"
the metaphysical realm.
the heart, the soul, and the emotions.
something that none of us could ever forget.
it is that which was born with us the minute we exist.
our very own existence lies within our heart beat.
with each beat, we are alive.
it is a miracle that we are even breathing right now.
with each contraction, a determination
with each breath we take, a testament against death.
With each heart beat, a miracle
nonetheless
(part two) add on 20091205
We take it for granted
Heart health is a serious issue
in fact, all your organs have been taken for granted
ever looked at your skin and realized
that it is the biggest if not the most visable external organ?
But you smoke, you plead, you stress, and you hate.
All those stuff arent spose to be inhibiting from the body
much less say capable of doing so.
But people do anyway. dealingwith the external
not realizing that its the internal
mind, body, and spirit
Farce of Life: Problems
We all have problems, so why should I care? I will not be a slave to others. I will not be controlled by every beckoning and every movement of that person. To hate, to despise, is to be controlled by external forces, forcing you to be under thier spell. Your very existence will be against and always troubled by thiers, no matter what they or you are doing.
We all have our own things to do, and if we consider them as an outsider and of no importance, do we really lose sight of something? Or is it good riddance? This is the dillemma I am facing. Girls do this perfectly and some guys do this as well. "I don't care, so sorry~" "That is none of my business" "Not my problem" "uh..I would do something..but as of now, I dont care" "Matters not to me, I dont give a shit"
Is this what apathy or even whats that word in that post that Tim has deleted... But anway, its something like that... Before a good thing can show up--- it gets cut off like that especially when it is of great disitnerest to a person. But that is natural, what I want to talk is along the lines of Self-Interests..
(an off topic example) Poor girls, they always want 10/A guys, but in the end, the majority of them will find it too hard or unhappy and they settle for an 8/B guy, which may be too late since theyve all got takened. Ignorance is bliss and yet, careful timing and utter ignorance is smart, secure, bliss. When we are older, thats when we are ready--but perhaps it is bio clock ticking, maybe thats why.
(slightly back on topic)
I realize theres a whole life ahead of us especially in the 20's..but can we really be happy if we dismiss things "unworthy" now and not care? will it help? will it bite back at us?
We all have our own things to do, and if we consider them as an outsider and of no importance, do we really lose sight of something? Or is it good riddance? This is the dillemma I am facing. Girls do this perfectly and some guys do this as well. "I don't care, so sorry~" "That is none of my business" "Not my problem" "uh..I would do something..but as of now, I dont care" "Matters not to me, I dont give a shit"
Is this what apathy or even whats that word in that post that Tim has deleted... But anway, its something like that... Before a good thing can show up--- it gets cut off like that especially when it is of great disitnerest to a person. But that is natural, what I want to talk is along the lines of Self-Interests..
(an off topic example) Poor girls, they always want 10/A guys, but in the end, the majority of them will find it too hard or unhappy and they settle for an 8/B guy, which may be too late since theyve all got takened. Ignorance is bliss and yet, careful timing and utter ignorance is smart, secure, bliss. When we are older, thats when we are ready--but perhaps it is bio clock ticking, maybe thats why.
(slightly back on topic)
I realize theres a whole life ahead of us especially in the 20's..but can we really be happy if we dismiss things "unworthy" now and not care? will it help? will it bite back at us?
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Contractor's Contract: A Blessing or a Curse?
( MI6 Contractors working together seen above)In the anime, Darker than Black, it features characters/people with super inhuman capabilities much like superheroes or those guys from"Heroes" (the TV series). These characters/people, however, are called Contractors and they look very well like a normal average person, except that they have powers. These powers range from ice to lightning to even time travel. But what I want to talk about is the contractor's contract, personality, and behaviors.
The contractors in DTB are much more like assassins or bodyguards or even spy agents for hire; used by other countries against other countries. They have a contract with whoever hired them and they have thier own personal contract (as of now, who knows how) which gives them their powers and terms. The terms are wierd in a way it's almost autistic or just plain harmful. Now, not all of them are equal, some may have stronger powers than others but what they all have is what the anime tries to talk about: Do contractors really feel any emotion? Contractors, themselves after entering in a contract they tend to "lose" any emotion and attachments they once had when they were "normal"--even they themselves stated this. But is this really true? Now this is where my dilemma starts.
Contractors are much, much more rational than an average person, much less say a proffessional business/lawyer/hitman. They take self-interests only to themselves and no other. (There are arguments against this such as the hidden suppression theory and the partner theory, but lets not get off hand here) They decide quickly and efficiently especially for the long run, when they will need something. They think what can be benefitial to them whatever that may be. They carry out the tasks given to them with no remorse. They have no feelings, emotions, or doubts, much less fear. They are also lifeless sometimes just like the dolls who are almost completely inanimate and rarely stimulated, save thier little movements.
Now if I or anyone to become a contractor, would it mean a better life? We would see things in more of a realist and practical view. We would also not have to worry about love, relationships, and friendships and maybe altruism.
(A Doll, seen above here)
Just thinkin of being a doll is also a comforting thing during times of distress/challenge/breakdowns. Imagine, able to stop feelin anything, and living your life out peacefully and stoically. Just think about it..enjoying every minute, every hour, and every day..kinda enlightenin like a monk isnt it? Wouldnt it be nice?
I find myself stimulated by doing everything calm, slowly with grace, and with green tea ;D
The contractors in DTB are much more like assassins or bodyguards or even spy agents for hire; used by other countries against other countries. They have a contract with whoever hired them and they have thier own personal contract (as of now, who knows how) which gives them their powers and terms. The terms are wierd in a way it's almost autistic or just plain harmful. Now, not all of them are equal, some may have stronger powers than others but what they all have is what the anime tries to talk about: Do contractors really feel any emotion? Contractors, themselves after entering in a contract they tend to "lose" any emotion and attachments they once had when they were "normal"--even they themselves stated this. But is this really true? Now this is where my dilemma starts.
Contractors are much, much more rational than an average person, much less say a proffessional business/lawyer/hitman. They take self-interests only to themselves and no other. (There are arguments against this such as the hidden suppression theory and the partner theory, but lets not get off hand here) They decide quickly and efficiently especially for the long run, when they will need something. They think what can be benefitial to them whatever that may be. They carry out the tasks given to them with no remorse. They have no feelings, emotions, or doubts, much less fear. They are also lifeless sometimes just like the dolls who are almost completely inanimate and rarely stimulated, save thier little movements.
Now if I or anyone to become a contractor, would it mean a better life? We would see things in more of a realist and practical view. We would also not have to worry about love, relationships, and friendships and maybe altruism.
(A Doll, seen above here)Just thinkin of being a doll is also a comforting thing during times of distress/challenge/breakdowns. Imagine, able to stop feelin anything, and living your life out peacefully and stoically. Just think about it..enjoying every minute, every hour, and every day..kinda enlightenin like a monk isnt it? Wouldnt it be nice?
I find myself stimulated by doing everything calm, slowly with grace, and with green tea ;D
Winter Wonderland...
I dont know why, I took a step forward, but only to stop when I finally have met her for the first time in person in awhile. I coudlnt even compliment her new hair and new glasses. Nor could I strike up a good conversation. But I spose that is because of the cold weather and perhaps she had something else to do.
gah..when I left, that was horrible..a poke..and then a retarded convo with brandon and then sayin bye to him and her. Hugged her, alas..but still..(at least I did something) I should have done so in the beginning...fsck...its like..I am not allowed to touch her; more like theres some kind of sacred restraint Ive placed on myself.
It was cold. I was actaulyl quite lonely. Everyone there were doin thier own thing. I had not much ppl of my circle to hang, although I did met some other 09 and other graduates, most of the kids there were all freshies and sophomores..gah...everyone was small o.o
It was cold. I can't believe I left my headlights on ><
It was cold. I needa work out....
Alas...I'm lost once again...?
gah..when I left, that was horrible..a poke..and then a retarded convo with brandon and then sayin bye to him and her. Hugged her, alas..but still..(at least I did something) I should have done so in the beginning...fsck...its like..I am not allowed to touch her; more like theres some kind of sacred restraint Ive placed on myself.
It was cold. I was actaulyl quite lonely. Everyone there were doin thier own thing. I had not much ppl of my circle to hang, although I did met some other 09 and other graduates, most of the kids there were all freshies and sophomores..gah...everyone was small o.o
It was cold. I can't believe I left my headlights on ><
It was cold. I needa work out....
Alas...I'm lost once again...?
Monday, November 23, 2009
High School Life
Would you ever come back to your high school and like..watch the children..and like...rest and see how the next gen is? Sure, you may look like a creepy man eyein on the young..but really..theres no harmful intentions other than remininscing and observing and taking in the view of what has changed and what hasnt..
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