Good Bye, San Jose

This is it.

A moment of impending monumentum, anxiety, and excitement.

Thus the beating of the Commencement.

Currently the best music to listen to as of late before departing would be "Turn the Page" by Metallica, "Audience of One" by Rise Against, and " Libera Me from Hell " You can also listen to it while reading this! :] It matches I suppose.

But first, a bit of a warning and update. My cellphone will not be my cellphone anymore. It belongs to my brother now. If you have my cell number on your cell dont call me until further notice. Apparently my dad took away my cell and car like the jerk he is. And also there might be a small chance an old man will call. Dont worry, like I said, slim chance, but if he starts acting up again...then you can--will-- resist him.

And also I will be deactivating any accounts, or in this case, be inactive for quite some time. I will be unplugging everything including my compooter, finalizing everything in the house, and yeah.

It was fun here for the last...10 years (the other years were at my old nieghborhood and school, but I guess i can count them too making it 18 years). Grew up in the Bay Area, specifically San Jose. Never really traveled much save my father's ridiculous idea of a travel/vacation is to go to Tahoe (when not snowing) to gamble or to go to the lake. Or to Las Vegas, Reno, and  for the same thing. The only place I can truely remember traveling was Disneyland and San Diego, and that was it. Im pretty sure many other have traveled far more than me but then some others arent so fortunate to even travel at all. So I am not complaining. I am going to grow up. :D

ANYWAY. I have known this place my whole life, and now its time for me to move out and start going off on my own. I will be missing everyone here. I remember being homesick for a month or two after I enlisted. I was lamenting on Deanza's community and stuff. But now I feel even more "final". As I look back, This will be my last time here in San Jose, from then on, I will no longer be here, seeing Brigadoon Park, living near SC, touching my games, burrowing in my comfy bed, and the such. Last time for everything I suppose!
Every last feeling, breath, sex(just kiddin about this part), food, family/friend time, and gaming must be felt.


There are and were soo many important things that I must write down, but I cannot recall, especially for this post. I am blatantly tryin to compose sentences meanwhile keeping my current ideas from falling out. OMFG theres soo much to write!!!

and now I am doing a memory dump. I may forget all of these things after I come back--which is probably a good thing or not.. But actaully, its a good thing that I am writing this. I will be "changed" by this experience and Lily doesnt want me to change too much, for I don't know what lies ahead. However I am me will always be me abeit more mature and likewise, "changed".

If you arent too curious, you can skip to the end. (especially skip the Regrets sections as they are VERY PERSONAL)

----These are to specific peoples---

To Yongs
Holy Friggin Cow, I am so glad to have met you before I leave. You are actually a great friend I never had. You may be a bit scary sometime, but overall practical and kind. Oh, and you're "Korean". :] Never had any Korean freinds before (Albert doesnt count cause hes more viet and Eugene--I dont see him as Korean )
ANYWAY, you are a true caring friend.  Thanks for the rides and helping me with my outlook on certain events. But most of all Thank God that we both took Asian "Pornstar" Lit Class together and became friends.

To Guambeast/Eric/Frederick/Gummy/Guam
Thanks for everything man. I find it funny how we started knowing each other on XBOX Live more than we do in real life. and then we started hanging out and well, t'was fun~. Thanks for Wingstop and gaming late nights with Tim and Cang and me. You really are a good guy and well..take care. Game On, Game Hard, and Live Free

To Cang
You're a good kid who needs more sleep or better yet, a faster internet.

To Tim
You crazy bastard of a bitch. Been Fun. and Game On

To Michael/Mikhael
Keep rockin it out, Play Xbox Live with Tim and Guam and you never took me to Rohos :o

To Andy
T'is a shame me and you and My coudlnt hang out. But the good thing is that I know that you are a good person, and a very how you say...respectful-about-girls-type-of-shy-guy and I hope you do well and become a pro at Naginata(spelling?) and also..Man Up especially with...Mandy..or someone >.> But then agian you are a really good friend, compatible even with girls with bfs and me and Albert :D Well, Game on, and keep Albert safe from himself lol

To Albert and Jess
You really do have a heart. It's been fun. Take good care of Jess this time around >:] and Jess, I told you~ ;D
You guys were just too perfect for each other.

To Jose, Elaine, and family
You're a really funny guy you know that? Sorry for telling you so late, I didnt know until it was too late. Anyway! I hope your family loves the gift that we gave to you and I also love that you got me a blessed rosary :] Thanks, I will take it with me. Its been fun ever since I met you 4 years ago as of now. Much Love, man.
I guess you will probably also look after things here too like my brother, my mom, and well..my remaining friends lol Live Free, Die Hard, >:] and Stay out of Trouble! x]

To Catty
My little sister who is now in London, I suppose youll be missin me along with the others :s I'm sorry I coudlnt see you off when you did. But know this, I will be back :] It has been fun chatting amongst you, Conny, and Taylor. lol you little girls and your problems. But it was fun helpin you out and well..being a big brother to a little sister that I never had (streetwise or bloodwise) :]

To Noa
My 2nd Deanza Friend. It was an interesting summer with you and David, and Kason, and Quyen and the rest of the "Nussons" of EWRT211. Have fun with your band tour and Egyptian studies and music therapy!

To Kason
You were my first Deanza friend/buddy there and like..I still remember you gave me your half of a sandwhich. Go Scare David again :D (he has a facebook)

To David
4th Deanza friend..Sorry for leaving you :s and also...for scaring and laughing at your Kason moments..which reminds me..Kason! go get him ;D

To Quyen
It was fun doing karaoke and hanging outwith steph and the gang at least once. And I suppose youll be telling me ur outrageous stories when I come back ;D But also, thanks for being my 3rd Deanza Friend :] dont drink and drive or do drugs!! D:

To Lily
lol the wife of my friend and also a friend of mine. It was good listening to you and helping you with your problems. And also Thanks for caring about me and giving info and  talking about Army and personal stuff :3
Don't worry, I wont change so drastically like from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil xD But I'll be more mature and more stronger and well, still silly old philosphical interesting me ;] I never knew you were pretty cool and had similar problems like I do all this time :O Keep your health!! Stay Well!! and Eric will be alright. Our Prayers will make everything alright.

To my Asian Lite "Pornstar" Fam Bam
I will never look at some things the same way again..It has been fun with you guys, learning, rationalizing, and opening up in the community class. I will look at the world and wonder, "Where are the Asians?" especially in America and some top places.

To my RCIA.
Walking the Faith has never been soo much more interesting. Thanks Kurt, Jack, Matt, Anna, Joven, and Sr Lan along with the class. Thank you for the gifts and the blessings ^.^o

To everyone else.
No matter how small, you have impacted my life somehow. Either by being there, or not.
----End of Specifics----


----These are my regrets----

I am grateful for having met everyone especially Maily, Victoria, Phuong, and some others that I cant list right now. I have learned alot from talking with you and being at ur side, I suppose. But sorry for the misshaps.


Maily
Again, I am sorry for what I've done. Our friendship was too good to be a waste, and yet I was foolish. I remember those fun times during freshman, sophomore, and junior year. We laughed, rationalize and philosophized and like..were buddies till the end. In guitar, it was fun even tho the guitar was much bigger than you lol. Oh and I still remember the hug u wanted to give me, but I never took it cause I respected u and Martin's thing back then and so I was afraid of misunderstandings and backed out at the time. Pretty soon rotc and stuff was fun, u made chief and colorguard but then left.. And then there was also the military ball, Larry, and Erick Campos. aha. oh and there was once i remembered u inviting me to ur house, but I declined since I didnt had a ride or something. Which also reminds me, I cant believe my house was the hotspot hang out freshman year until my mom started complaining lol.  Ahhh I was looking back on my yearbooks and saw that u were in Jose Valdez. Brings back memories as to how long weve actually known each other. How well we get along, and interact..*sighs* big Tony, chuck-e-cheese, movie nights...what else? oh ya Japanese, the Package...

Tis such a shame i coudlnt apologize to you in person..you were sucha good friend..Thanks for being my first True Friend. :]


Victoria
Honestly I dont know what the Fsck happened to shit a chain of reaction. All I know was, I failed at leading the econ group project cause I was busy myself with Cross Country and rotc. I know Josephine was doing her hardest too and apparently I didnt match with your guys' expectations, and I'm sorry x.x I didnt mean to bash on you and stuff but I guess it was a retaliation to being ostracized by the both of you without really an explaination x.x
ANYWAY, youve been a good friend too, although there were mishaps. I hope that all my rationalizations and philosophy that I shared with you won't go to waste and that you will probably indulge me with your set one day. Thanks for everything, I suppose, Second(?) True Friend. :]

Phuong
I am sorry for all the things I've wronged you. I was never really ready. All u gotta know is that I really loved you back then and that I still care for your well being even though you may not be you right now.

Thanks for everything that you have done back then, I really really appreciated it, My First...

Tony
Sorry to have not been a better friend. We apparently must have lost each other and misunderstood and strained each otehrs relationship so far that...well..here we are..
But thanks for being a fun friend when we were still growin up

Martin
I really dont know what to say, it seems everything I do somehow gets in ur way...and for that, I apologize, I really dont know. But thanks for being a good CG leader and yeah..

Hopefully I was in my right mind while writing htis cuase I was rushing and I dont want to offend anyone or rip up old wounds..
---end of Regrets---

True Friends come few and far and between. I dont have much, and now I cherish them.

In these last few days I have been rationalizing and well having "Last Thoughts" of what to say and what to declare appropiate and what to do. There has never been such finer moment than now. I am beginning to go at the World with only me, myself, and my Faith. I leave behind everything, materials, possessions(well most),  and friends and family, to find God (getting my sacraments), and to grow and become a stronger individual.

I will now be moving on towards a brighter future. Perhaps I'll see you guys once again.

As one of my Bob Marley-ish friends once said as he gave me his intricate signature wooden design, "One Love."

Good Bye, San Jose...

..This city doesnt suck as most would think. I see soo much potential in it esp from a wiseful humanitarian, governmental, comunnity point of view.