The Times have Changed...

The Times have Changed...

That is the new theme I have been working on. It echoes throughout my head...my mind..and my body... It also actually describes how I conduct myself now, my physical appearance, and my mental sharpness.

I can hear that phrase over and over as I see things happening...especially when I see people becoming what they are not used to be. The times are a changing...just like the song from Watchmen.

I started to think of this ever since I lost Michelle while I was training in the Army. In fact, not just Michelle that showed me how weak people are, but my fellow comrades in arms as well. Some of them got "Dear John" letters saying that thier wives (or husbands) dont love them anymore...

Now to me, that is quite sad. For instance, in my case, Michelle and I were apart barely for 9 weeks..and thus she found one of her roomates, a guy named Eugene, to be her new love. Eugene isnt the only problem. I also realized that her friends/roomates also influenced her. She changed slightly. More outgoing and desiring of friends.

A much truer story would involve Tony and Connie's predicament. Tony became more of a math nerd in college all while Connie became a more open and independent person or something like that (as told by Albert). The point is..Connies friends has something to do with it..her new friends from college. I saw this evidently through a group picture of hers. No one there I knew surrounded Connie in that pic.

The Army changed my life...for the better..

I've learned alotta new life lessons while I was in the Army. These lessons show me how small and yet big we are in this world. How frail and weak and yet how strong we can become. Its like a dime with heads and tails, a contradiction, a paradox.... Compare a strong minded man like Andrew Ryan, an objectivist electrophysicist, to a gentle man like the Dalai Lama.. In fact, this is one of the things I've learned, to be strong or to be humble--there is a balance in between that I must lie.  If you are too strong minded, then you are stubborn and will not have peace in your heart, but if you are too humble, then you will let others push you around...

Another lesson I learned is that girls, once they taste "love", they will always be searchin for who has it. This is perhaps one of the biggest break throughs in my philosophy. For instance, I noticed that (using the life theme of change) even though the widow's husband has passed away, she will move on, finding support from another (that all depends on age tho) And vice versa. hmm perhaps this is too complicated for me to discuss right now...or I've hit a lazy writers block.


whew, man has it be awhile since I last wrote! I'll be continually editing my postsand making sure my philosophy is known, or at least grammatically correct.

To be Continued...

The Return and the Dump

This is what it means..The Return and the Dump(haha...literally -_-)...

I have returned! My mind and concience has put a lot of philosphies on halt but it quickly gain and restarted new ones.

There are soo many thoughts I must jot down, otehrwise it wont be told.

Basic Training

Advanced Individual Training

Newfound Glory

The World Makes me Sad...
MNN broke up with me. I woke up single one fine saturday.
The eastern girls. The hooking ups. The problems of relationships. The weaknesses and frailty of ppl.
The idiocracy of individuals. The

The Augusta Marriot Suites
Beer and the boring world.

Coraline, Better Days to Come


oh and I finally think I should make a tumbler.

this place is slowly dyin away...and also it brings bad memories...because she deleted one of her posts( the story of us) and thatwas my fav one becuase itdetails how it all started and "how we never met"

Special Post! Dedicated to Karissa, Uyen, and Yong

As the title states....this is for them, the 3 and me make the 4 during deanza, man it was fun.

I have little time to write, but I'll try to make it good

Thanks Uyen for your card! I really appreciate it. I was actually caught offguard xD

Thanks Karissa, I am glad to have met you two and be your friend :3

Thanks Yongs, I will write to you and with you,  Karissa and Uyen can see it too :D

I can feel the love even more from all three of you guys ><

 It was fun drinkin and eating one last time at Quicklys

As the night falls, and the early morning rises..I am excited and anxious beyond all reason..this is it...its show time! >:]

Jesus

"Why do you follow Catholicism?"

Its the way, its the truth.

"But why do you follow it so? What is truth but a fact? and this cannot be proven."

The fact of the matter is that Jesus is Truth.  Some things cannot be proven without evidence, this is where faith comes in. Those who have faith will need no explaination and those who has none, no explaination will do. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence

"Catholicism teaches stuff from the Bible, and the Bible is a bunch of lies" (forgive me God for saying that x.x)

Because..well..I am too lazy to explain the theatrics, but know this, Man is only so smart that he must be explained to through the uses of symbolism, metaphors, and lessons. Tell me, if an angel really existed, or some supernatural being really did existed (which it does) will it be smarter and stronger than man? Most Probably.

Anyway  the main point is the idea of love and sacrifice. God is the only one that loves you beyond anything else. Who else would do it? Jesus so loved mankind that he gave his life for all of us. Now the question is..would you give up your life for a person you love? or persons you love? or for a random homeless stranger? Now now before anyone starts anything, I hope you see that most of the time we care only for ourselves and our loved ones. Jesus is the only man that can do this 100% without fail or hesitation. He did it once, and he changed the world. You do it once, and you probably will too.

Good Bye, San Jose

This is it.

A moment of impending monumentum, anxiety, and excitement.

Thus the beating of the Commencement.

Currently the best music to listen to as of late before departing would be "Turn the Page" by Metallica, "Audience of One" by Rise Against, and " Libera Me from Hell " You can also listen to it while reading this! :] It matches I suppose.

But first, a bit of a warning and update. My cellphone will not be my cellphone anymore. It belongs to my brother now. If you have my cell number on your cell dont call me until further notice. Apparently my dad took away my cell and car like the jerk he is. And also there might be a small chance an old man will call. Dont worry, like I said, slim chance, but if he starts acting up again...then you can--will-- resist him.

And also I will be deactivating any accounts, or in this case, be inactive for quite some time. I will be unplugging everything including my compooter, finalizing everything in the house, and yeah.

It was fun here for the last...10 years (the other years were at my old nieghborhood and school, but I guess i can count them too making it 18 years). Grew up in the Bay Area, specifically San Jose. Never really traveled much save my father's ridiculous idea of a travel/vacation is to go to Tahoe (when not snowing) to gamble or to go to the lake. Or to Las Vegas, Reno, and  for the same thing. The only place I can truely remember traveling was Disneyland and San Diego, and that was it. Im pretty sure many other have traveled far more than me but then some others arent so fortunate to even travel at all. So I am not complaining. I am going to grow up. :D

ANYWAY. I have known this place my whole life, and now its time for me to move out and start going off on my own. I will be missing everyone here. I remember being homesick for a month or two after I enlisted. I was lamenting on Deanza's community and stuff. But now I feel even more "final". As I look back, This will be my last time here in San Jose, from then on, I will no longer be here, seeing Brigadoon Park, living near SC, touching my games, burrowing in my comfy bed, and the such. Last time for everything I suppose!
Every last feeling, breath, sex(just kiddin about this part), food, family/friend time, and gaming must be felt.


There are and were soo many important things that I must write down, but I cannot recall, especially for this post. I am blatantly tryin to compose sentences meanwhile keeping my current ideas from falling out. OMFG theres soo much to write!!!

and now I am doing a memory dump. I may forget all of these things after I come back--which is probably a good thing or not.. But actaully, its a good thing that I am writing this. I will be "changed" by this experience and Lily doesnt want me to change too much, for I don't know what lies ahead. However I am me will always be me abeit more mature and likewise, "changed".

If you arent too curious, you can skip to the end. (especially skip the Regrets sections as they are VERY PERSONAL)

----These are to specific peoples---

To Yongs
Holy Friggin Cow, I am so glad to have met you before I leave. You are actually a great friend I never had. You may be a bit scary sometime, but overall practical and kind. Oh, and you're "Korean". :] Never had any Korean freinds before (Albert doesnt count cause hes more viet and Eugene--I dont see him as Korean )
ANYWAY, you are a true caring friend.  Thanks for the rides and helping me with my outlook on certain events. But most of all Thank God that we both took Asian "Pornstar" Lit Class together and became friends.

To Guambeast/Eric/Frederick/Gummy/Guam
Thanks for everything man. I find it funny how we started knowing each other on XBOX Live more than we do in real life. and then we started hanging out and well, t'was fun~. Thanks for Wingstop and gaming late nights with Tim and Cang and me. You really are a good guy and well..take care. Game On, Game Hard, and Live Free

To Cang
You're a good kid who needs more sleep or better yet, a faster internet.

To Tim
You crazy bastard of a bitch. Been Fun. and Game On

To Michael/Mikhael
Keep rockin it out, Play Xbox Live with Tim and Guam and you never took me to Rohos :o

To Andy
T'is a shame me and you and My coudlnt hang out. But the good thing is that I know that you are a good person, and a very how you say...respectful-about-girls-type-of-shy-guy and I hope you do well and become a pro at Naginata(spelling?) and also..Man Up especially with...Mandy..or someone >.> But then agian you are a really good friend, compatible even with girls with bfs and me and Albert :D Well, Game on, and keep Albert safe from himself lol

To Albert and Jess
You really do have a heart. It's been fun. Take good care of Jess this time around >:] and Jess, I told you~ ;D
You guys were just too perfect for each other.

To Jose, Elaine, and family
You're a really funny guy you know that? Sorry for telling you so late, I didnt know until it was too late. Anyway! I hope your family loves the gift that we gave to you and I also love that you got me a blessed rosary :] Thanks, I will take it with me. Its been fun ever since I met you 4 years ago as of now. Much Love, man.
I guess you will probably also look after things here too like my brother, my mom, and well..my remaining friends lol Live Free, Die Hard, >:] and Stay out of Trouble! x]

To Catty
My little sister who is now in London, I suppose youll be missin me along with the others :s I'm sorry I coudlnt see you off when you did. But know this, I will be back :] It has been fun chatting amongst you, Conny, and Taylor. lol you little girls and your problems. But it was fun helpin you out and well..being a big brother to a little sister that I never had (streetwise or bloodwise) :]

To Noa
My 2nd Deanza Friend. It was an interesting summer with you and David, and Kason, and Quyen and the rest of the "Nussons" of EWRT211. Have fun with your band tour and Egyptian studies and music therapy!

To Kason
You were my first Deanza friend/buddy there and like..I still remember you gave me your half of a sandwhich. Go Scare David again :D (he has a facebook)

To David
4th Deanza friend..Sorry for leaving you :s and also...for scaring and laughing at your Kason moments..which reminds me..Kason! go get him ;D

To Quyen
It was fun doing karaoke and hanging outwith steph and the gang at least once. And I suppose youll be telling me ur outrageous stories when I come back ;D But also, thanks for being my 3rd Deanza Friend :] dont drink and drive or do drugs!! D:

To Lily
lol the wife of my friend and also a friend of mine. It was good listening to you and helping you with your problems. And also Thanks for caring about me and giving info and  talking about Army and personal stuff :3
Don't worry, I wont change so drastically like from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil xD But I'll be more mature and more stronger and well, still silly old philosphical interesting me ;] I never knew you were pretty cool and had similar problems like I do all this time :O Keep your health!! Stay Well!! and Eric will be alright. Our Prayers will make everything alright.

To my Asian Lite "Pornstar" Fam Bam
I will never look at some things the same way again..It has been fun with you guys, learning, rationalizing, and opening up in the community class. I will look at the world and wonder, "Where are the Asians?" especially in America and some top places.

To my RCIA.
Walking the Faith has never been soo much more interesting. Thanks Kurt, Jack, Matt, Anna, Joven, and Sr Lan along with the class. Thank you for the gifts and the blessings ^.^o

To everyone else.
No matter how small, you have impacted my life somehow. Either by being there, or not.
----End of Specifics----


----These are my regrets----

I am grateful for having met everyone especially Maily, Victoria, Phuong, and some others that I cant list right now. I have learned alot from talking with you and being at ur side, I suppose. But sorry for the misshaps.


Maily
Again, I am sorry for what I've done. Our friendship was too good to be a waste, and yet I was foolish. I remember those fun times during freshman, sophomore, and junior year. We laughed, rationalize and philosophized and like..were buddies till the end. In guitar, it was fun even tho the guitar was much bigger than you lol. Oh and I still remember the hug u wanted to give me, but I never took it cause I respected u and Martin's thing back then and so I was afraid of misunderstandings and backed out at the time. Pretty soon rotc and stuff was fun, u made chief and colorguard but then left.. And then there was also the military ball, Larry, and Erick Campos. aha. oh and there was once i remembered u inviting me to ur house, but I declined since I didnt had a ride or something. Which also reminds me, I cant believe my house was the hotspot hang out freshman year until my mom started complaining lol.  Ahhh I was looking back on my yearbooks and saw that u were in Jose Valdez. Brings back memories as to how long weve actually known each other. How well we get along, and interact..*sighs* big Tony, chuck-e-cheese, movie nights...what else? oh ya Japanese, the Package...

Tis such a shame i coudlnt apologize to you in person..you were sucha good friend..Thanks for being my first True Friend. :]


Victoria
Honestly I dont know what the Fsck happened to shit a chain of reaction. All I know was, I failed at leading the econ group project cause I was busy myself with Cross Country and rotc. I know Josephine was doing her hardest too and apparently I didnt match with your guys' expectations, and I'm sorry x.x I didnt mean to bash on you and stuff but I guess it was a retaliation to being ostracized by the both of you without really an explaination x.x
ANYWAY, youve been a good friend too, although there were mishaps. I hope that all my rationalizations and philosophy that I shared with you won't go to waste and that you will probably indulge me with your set one day. Thanks for everything, I suppose, Second(?) True Friend. :]

Phuong
I am sorry for all the things I've wronged you. I was never really ready. All u gotta know is that I really loved you back then and that I still care for your well being even though you may not be you right now.

Thanks for everything that you have done back then, I really really appreciated it, My First...

Tony
Sorry to have not been a better friend. We apparently must have lost each other and misunderstood and strained each otehrs relationship so far that...well..here we are..
But thanks for being a fun friend when we were still growin up

Martin
I really dont know what to say, it seems everything I do somehow gets in ur way...and for that, I apologize, I really dont know. But thanks for being a good CG leader and yeah..

Hopefully I was in my right mind while writing htis cuase I was rushing and I dont want to offend anyone or rip up old wounds..
---end of Regrets---

True Friends come few and far and between. I dont have much, and now I cherish them.

In these last few days I have been rationalizing and well having "Last Thoughts" of what to say and what to declare appropiate and what to do. There has never been such finer moment than now. I am beginning to go at the World with only me, myself, and my Faith. I leave behind everything, materials, possessions(well most),  and friends and family, to find God (getting my sacraments), and to grow and become a stronger individual.

I will now be moving on towards a brighter future. Perhaps I'll see you guys once again.

As one of my Bob Marley-ish friends once said as he gave me his intricate signature wooden design, "One Love."

Good Bye, San Jose...

..This city doesnt suck as most would think. I see soo much potential in it esp from a wiseful humanitarian, governmental, comunnity point of view.

Some Random Facts, Thoughts

"I have Faith, not everyone does."

Nickolai Kondratiev, thanks to Glenn Beck, I now know this man's rationalization. He constructed the theory of Mutually Assured Economic Destruction- of which is why people say our economy is too big to fail. Too big? it stands on the life vein of other countries' economy and vice versa. VERY interesting idea.

Figlett. George Soro.

around 9/08/2009 was when I had my first car towed due to the spark plug dying on me x.x

Sawyer's Blade

"Chikara wa Subete"

Gosh, I love that phrase. It is more or exactly like how i heard it and thus I type it like that. Anyway, it is a phrase that Jin from Tekken has said. In fact, the entire family is revolved around it. They thirst and are hungry for power and will always rival against each other; thus the curse of the Mishima Bloodline..

But enough of that. I would like to talk about that phrase. "Chikara wa Subete" means "Power is Everything". If you have power, no one can step over you. If you try to attain power, then you have to seek it and be ruthless or at least strong about it. But no matter what power you have, all of it belongs to God. God gave us the power in the first place, although we may have claim to attain it. True, we are built to perfect ourselves, thus this is why everyone is perfect, always room for improvement.

My Dragon Age: Origins Characters

Name- Nole
Sex- Male
Class- Rogue

He is the first character of the 6 Origins. He is a human noble and so starts off with a much easier standing point. He is nice and kind, just like me. In fact, hes more of me than all the otehr characters. He duel wields weapons sometimes a sword or axe and a dagger. He has the utmost trust in his companions and is a very friendly good but sometime interesting guy. This character was more of a guinea pig as since I messed up on his stats a little bit.

Nole is a nice guy type but with rightiousness and caring. He has tattoos on his face and some interesting side cheek burns, green eyes, and short brown hair parted agove his right eye.

He was about to sacrifice himself in the end but he got Alistar to concieve the baby instead. In the end, he left everyone after Alistar became king and he began traveling with Lelenia and Zevran one last time. He'll be back..

Next up is

Lain, a Dalish Elf Warrior. She is fiesty and stylish just like Dante. She holds two handedweapons just to have smashing power. She also very abitious, always craving for power and gives no shit to anyone else even her own kin. Aggressive as she is, she will end her life in the end.

She has medium hair fergot what color..and also has tattoos on her face..light ones..



Nela, a female human mage. a good studious, and confident woman. smart and friendly like nole, but more...woman minded.


Roddy, a casteless dwarve duelwieldin rogue, the strongest since Nole


Darrian, a smart ruthless City Elf. He wants to liberate the Elves and have revenge against injustice. Indignation.


Sarah, an asian looking dwarf. hot and tanned. middle child, daughter of the Dwarf King. "Think Faith from Mirrors Edge and Real from Ergo PRoxy that type of character.


to be completed...

The Feeling of Commencement

It will hit us sooner or later. The feeling of impending doom, excitement, and anxiety--what I like to call the feeling of Commencement. It is something thatall future soldiers will face. Whether it is only after enlistment or nearing ship day. It can also go on and off..the feeling of homesickness is how i should say when i didnt even leave the city yet! and yet i feel as tho i will miss everyone here. Deanza with its wonderufl student community esp my fav asian lit class. San Jose, who alotta kids think it sucks, but its actaully quote alright and peaceful-ish. and my friends and family..

As the time gets nearer, I feel as though I must write for I have overloaded my thoughts and rationalizations and the capacity to remember it.

There are soo many things:
-the final letters to persons
-the burden of women (aptly named A Women's Burden). And they suffered more than you know. and I mean all of them.
-Global warming. Its actually global extrmeties...the temperature and stuff gets even more extreme and also everything isa factor..and teh earth is changing btw
-