Watchin movies together with others is like an adventure, in fact one of the very few and common adventures we can take as a pair, or a group. We can find the significances and experiences more meaningful and we can talk about it, expressing our emotions, ideas, and rationalizations after watchin a movie.
There is no point for me to watch it alone, otherwise no one will know what I'm expressing, rationalizing, or even talkin about. *sighs*
Watchin some movies togehrter means that you are also spendin some quality time and that you dont have to do much cause the movie is the filler. Just being next to the person means a plenty. Your very own existence throughout that time is good enough.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
EYE SEE ES TWENTY FOUR
Kevin Nguyen
ICS 24
Marilyn
12/8/09
EYE SEE ES TWENTY FOUR
The quarter is at it's end. As I look back on the class, I realized that this was one big community with art, intelligence, support, and best of all, life. The goal of the LinC class was a success. This course along it's classmates really felt like another group of family and friends as it was intended to be. Whoever made it, was a genius. I see that I have changed after experiencing the course material and seeing my colleagues' art, compassion, and existence.
Marshall gave us many assignments in which we have to present ourselves and our art, and take notes of each others works. This was how I got to know a lot of the people in class (besides mingling with them). For example, Fatima made a demon story which told her experience going to the Philippines and how miserable and wet it was. I never knew that about her and now I do. Or when Xang started ranting out lyrics and voicing his dissenting opinion against Marshall's beliefs. That was eccentric since he was the few that openly disagreed, and even more so, that his style of rant was of anguish and EMINEM rap. But then again, there are some things that I found out that I, or anyone else, shouldnt have known at all such as Marshall himself.
This course was a freaking family. Compassion was everywhere needed. As each of us told our stories of past experiences, legacies, and problems, the class was always there, listening and taking it in as each information was presented and revealed. My story, Karissa's American Dream story, Yong's language story, Marshall's dick problems, Marilyn's hippy stories--hell, I realised most of our stories were international experiences or past problems, maybe even prejudices. But the main point is how we can relate to one another and how carefully we have listened and respected each other's views. I became more comfortable with talking out my view points in front of everyone and not pussy foot things like how I once did before in highschool.
But above all, just knowing my colleagues and how they even existed in this world has changed my attitude about it. There is soo much culture, ethics, love, respect, and experiences that none of us knew we had or received. I am more optimistic about America now than I ever was. I finally understood what it meant to be in a community of love, friends, and diversity. The existence of of these communities are what makes America, America. It is a melting pot of everyone and their stories. I am glad to have taken this class with Marshall, Jim, and especially Marilyn. I am more aware of my being and of other aspects and people of the world. I will be missing ICS 24.
ICS 24
Marilyn
12/8/09
EYE SEE ES TWENTY FOUR
The quarter is at it's end. As I look back on the class, I realized that this was one big community with art, intelligence, support, and best of all, life. The goal of the LinC class was a success. This course along it's classmates really felt like another group of family and friends as it was intended to be. Whoever made it, was a genius. I see that I have changed after experiencing the course material and seeing my colleagues' art, compassion, and existence.
Marshall gave us many assignments in which we have to present ourselves and our art, and take notes of each others works. This was how I got to know a lot of the people in class (besides mingling with them). For example, Fatima made a demon story which told her experience going to the Philippines and how miserable and wet it was. I never knew that about her and now I do. Or when Xang started ranting out lyrics and voicing his dissenting opinion against Marshall's beliefs. That was eccentric since he was the few that openly disagreed, and even more so, that his style of rant was of anguish and EMINEM rap. But then again, there are some things that I found out that I, or anyone else, shouldnt have known at all such as Marshall himself.
This course was a freaking family. Compassion was everywhere needed. As each of us told our stories of past experiences, legacies, and problems, the class was always there, listening and taking it in as each information was presented and revealed. My story, Karissa's American Dream story, Yong's language story, Marshall's dick problems, Marilyn's hippy stories--hell, I realised most of our stories were international experiences or past problems, maybe even prejudices. But the main point is how we can relate to one another and how carefully we have listened and respected each other's views. I became more comfortable with talking out my view points in front of everyone and not pussy foot things like how I once did before in highschool.
But above all, just knowing my colleagues and how they even existed in this world has changed my attitude about it. There is soo much culture, ethics, love, respect, and experiences that none of us knew we had or received. I am more optimistic about America now than I ever was. I finally understood what it meant to be in a community of love, friends, and diversity. The existence of of these communities are what makes America, America. It is a melting pot of everyone and their stories. I am glad to have taken this class with Marshall, Jim, and especially Marilyn. I am more aware of my being and of other aspects and people of the world. I will be missing ICS 24.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The History Dream Final
Kevin Nguyen
ICS 24
Marilyn
12/3/09
The History Dream
Churchill once said. “History is written by the victors.” This holds true since the conqueror can gloat and glorify all he wants and show the world in his image. The concept of history in Dream Jungle is an interesting one, in which reality and fiction have been merged together in a way that its almost indistinguishable. Jessica Hagedorn merges the Philippine’s dramatic history and the filming of “Apocalypse Now” with her very own fiction and message. She uses scapegoats, and foils for each character and historical contexts to make specific references to each event as it has happened, could have happened, and never happened because history is bound to repeat itself.
The first of a few references Hagedorn makes is the idea or history of “discovery and conquest” in the Philippines. In fact, it is what the first part of her novel is called. The Philippines have been conquered and occupied by foreign invaders many times before. The Filipino people and their resources have been raped, used, and wasted time over time again and again. A good example would be the Spaniards, who have sailed by and conquered the people under their rule in the process centuries ago. Hagedorn included several excerpts from “Primo Viaggio Intorno Al Mundo” by Antonio Pigagetta, who was the travel log recorder of Captain Magellan’s expedition around the world, and she included her own fictional character, a rich Spaniard aptly named Zamora de Legazpi. Zomora de Legazpi represents a parallel foil to the wealthy Spaniards, specifically Captain Magellan and many other conquistadores, who “discovered” a group of natives, “taught” them a lesson, “took” their woman and goods, and thus “conquering” the indigenous people. There have been many references to this from the excerpt of Antonio Pigagetta when he was observing the natives such as “…and those boats resemble the dolphins which leap in the water from wave to wave. Those Ladroni (i.e., robbers) thought, according to the signs which they made, that there were no other people in the world but themselves.”(4) Or when they were in shock and awe, experiencing defeat at the lost of their beloved Captain:
One of them wounded him on the left leg with a large cutlass, which resembles a scimitar, only being larger. That caused the captain to fall face downward, when immediately they rushed upon him with iron and bamboo spears and with their cutlasses until they killed our mirror, our life, our comfort, and our true guide. (106)
Ironic isn’t it? How they referred to their captain as if something great and holy, but he, the captain, along with everyone else, just wanted gold and conquest in the name of God.
Zamora, however, is pretty much the same especially when he bosses around his servants and taking advantage with the young girls like when he was naked and lecturing in front of Rizalina. “Enough about dreams. You’d better go, little girl. Or else your mother will think poorly of me…I’ve lived up to my promise, haven’t I?...You can stop trembling now. The lesson is over.”(49) Or when Zamora is flirty, eager to have sex with many mistresses outside of his marriage such as Celia, his baby caretaker, who just had an abortion because of him. Poor little girls, you can imagine how scared they were and how much of their innocence was lost. And then there is Bodabil, a small Taobo boy Zamora found deep within the uninhabited Philippine mountain regions. This is a reference to the Talibo scam back in the day with the President and false relief fund “PIMPF” in order to gain easy money. But the point is that Zamora claimed that he discovered these indigenous people and that he will save these people from their Stone Age ways for “ who knows what’s sake”. It ended in a terrible way more or less like Captain Magellan and his men, he was soon questioned with the validity of his relief effort, losing his family, losing Rizalina, and slowly dying away, losing his significance.
Zomora’s thirst for lust and dominance is like that of the foreign conquistadores centuries ago whose justification for conquering may be nothing short of “colonialism”, a term mentioned by Ann-Lesley. Legazipi also has an interesting foil of himself, the sadistic Mayor Fritz Magbantay. Hagedorn has created the sadistic Mayor Fritz to show how devious man can be as he lectures in front of his innocent victims (just like how the invaders and Zamora did) right before he does something shameful to them. Nap, Fritz’s driver, thought of this as he witnessed Fritz lecturing to Lina inside the car later on in part two of the book: “What’s the deal with her anyway? She was just a teenage girl, slightly prettier than most, but so what?” (257)
Another reference to history would be the filming of “Napalm Sunset”—the second part of the book—which is actually the filming of “Apocalypse Now” by Francis Coppola. Hagedorn replaces Coppola with Tony Pierce, and Cowboy with Vincent Moody, and many others while keeping authenticity of the hot difficult situation of foreign Americans filming and interacting with the natives in the Philippines. History, again, repeats itself here even though it features different actors and a new scenario. Pierce, Moody, and Fritz are shown how they naturally interact with and exploit the natives. Moody acts like a father to Lina and gets with her after meeting her at a strip club. Pierce hires cheap labor for his production, bossing around everyone alike and disrespectfully considers the surrounding land to be “a venture far too deep into the heart, where savages rule and civilization does not exist” or what ever Marshall was telling us how the director perceived the Philippine land to be—possibly a meaningless toy by the end of the movie. And then you have Fritz, who just wants to sell out his land’s resources to the American actors, and many other dirty businesses. His lusting efforts with Lina mentioned earlier were stopped because of Aling Belen, the protective old lady that watches over the foreigners with condemning eyes. From the book, how she acts is like an ancient spirit and pride of the Philippine homeland, watching over the land, agonized at the sight of the looting and raping of its people and earth.
Now, here comes the validity of history of Dream Jungle. It is true that Janet Pierce did a documentary of the movie and that the actors were partying and screwing around. The Spaniards did have done a lot of things towards the people and so have many other foreigners that come and go. Its also true that there was corruption (even today) with the high ranking officials selling out their people with the Talibo scam, prostitution, outsiders, and many more.
So what is false? The only false things here—but not limited to-- are the story of Zamora and his so called tribes, the diaries, documents and testimonies, the reporter Paz, and especially the old lady Alen Beling. But even if it is false, Jessica Hagedorn creates such fictional characters that to even dismiss it as false, would be dismissing the possibility of ever having such a type of person, attitude, and existence in real life. Lets take, for example, old lady Alen Beling, who represents the ancient spirit of her people’s homeland, and compare her with many of the old Filipino people who have seen the troubles that most young people at first don’t see. How can anyone like her NOT exist? These old people should already know how shameful it is to see their country wasting away by the unguided youth and ill intentioned foreigners. Or another example would be the recorded audio tape from Paz’s mother. What ever the mother was talking about could have happened, happened, or never have happened in this world at all like when she describes how she met Paz’s father. “Purely by accident.” She says (283) How many real life people in the Philippines could say that they did this? So in essence, the way history is in Dream Jungle is cultural, personal, and ethnical subjectivism.
Jessica Hagedorn fully integrates actual history with her fiction and story telling in such a way that it’s a blend of truth, untruth, and the unknown. The possibility that even such a person, place, or thing that existed can go along so well when it is indeed fiction alongside history, is the concept of her novel, Dream Jungle. One can only dream and fantasize with the idea that such and such exists and it may not even be possible, yet it could have happened. Think of it as an equation, where the history is the formula and the variables are humans, young and old. If you replace the setting or its pieces, the history will still be the same on the account that you don’t know IF it would ever not happen. The author does just that and presents to us a story heavily based on recorded evidence and the idea of indistinguishable real life drama scenarios.
Hagedorn, Jessica. Dream Jungle. New York: Penguin. 2003
ICS 24
Marilyn
12/3/09
The History Dream
Churchill once said. “History is written by the victors.” This holds true since the conqueror can gloat and glorify all he wants and show the world in his image. The concept of history in Dream Jungle is an interesting one, in which reality and fiction have been merged together in a way that its almost indistinguishable. Jessica Hagedorn merges the Philippine’s dramatic history and the filming of “Apocalypse Now” with her very own fiction and message. She uses scapegoats, and foils for each character and historical contexts to make specific references to each event as it has happened, could have happened, and never happened because history is bound to repeat itself.
The first of a few references Hagedorn makes is the idea or history of “discovery and conquest” in the Philippines. In fact, it is what the first part of her novel is called. The Philippines have been conquered and occupied by foreign invaders many times before. The Filipino people and their resources have been raped, used, and wasted time over time again and again. A good example would be the Spaniards, who have sailed by and conquered the people under their rule in the process centuries ago. Hagedorn included several excerpts from “Primo Viaggio Intorno Al Mundo” by Antonio Pigagetta, who was the travel log recorder of Captain Magellan’s expedition around the world, and she included her own fictional character, a rich Spaniard aptly named Zamora de Legazpi. Zomora de Legazpi represents a parallel foil to the wealthy Spaniards, specifically Captain Magellan and many other conquistadores, who “discovered” a group of natives, “taught” them a lesson, “took” their woman and goods, and thus “conquering” the indigenous people. There have been many references to this from the excerpt of Antonio Pigagetta when he was observing the natives such as “…and those boats resemble the dolphins which leap in the water from wave to wave. Those Ladroni (i.e., robbers) thought, according to the signs which they made, that there were no other people in the world but themselves.”(4) Or when they were in shock and awe, experiencing defeat at the lost of their beloved Captain:
One of them wounded him on the left leg with a large cutlass, which resembles a scimitar, only being larger. That caused the captain to fall face downward, when immediately they rushed upon him with iron and bamboo spears and with their cutlasses until they killed our mirror, our life, our comfort, and our true guide. (106)
Ironic isn’t it? How they referred to their captain as if something great and holy, but he, the captain, along with everyone else, just wanted gold and conquest in the name of God.
Zamora, however, is pretty much the same especially when he bosses around his servants and taking advantage with the young girls like when he was naked and lecturing in front of Rizalina. “Enough about dreams. You’d better go, little girl. Or else your mother will think poorly of me…I’ve lived up to my promise, haven’t I?...You can stop trembling now. The lesson is over.”(49) Or when Zamora is flirty, eager to have sex with many mistresses outside of his marriage such as Celia, his baby caretaker, who just had an abortion because of him. Poor little girls, you can imagine how scared they were and how much of their innocence was lost. And then there is Bodabil, a small Taobo boy Zamora found deep within the uninhabited Philippine mountain regions. This is a reference to the Talibo scam back in the day with the President and false relief fund “PIMPF” in order to gain easy money. But the point is that Zamora claimed that he discovered these indigenous people and that he will save these people from their Stone Age ways for “ who knows what’s sake”. It ended in a terrible way more or less like Captain Magellan and his men, he was soon questioned with the validity of his relief effort, losing his family, losing Rizalina, and slowly dying away, losing his significance.
Zomora’s thirst for lust and dominance is like that of the foreign conquistadores centuries ago whose justification for conquering may be nothing short of “colonialism”, a term mentioned by Ann-Lesley. Legazipi also has an interesting foil of himself, the sadistic Mayor Fritz Magbantay. Hagedorn has created the sadistic Mayor Fritz to show how devious man can be as he lectures in front of his innocent victims (just like how the invaders and Zamora did) right before he does something shameful to them. Nap, Fritz’s driver, thought of this as he witnessed Fritz lecturing to Lina inside the car later on in part two of the book: “What’s the deal with her anyway? She was just a teenage girl, slightly prettier than most, but so what?” (257)
Another reference to history would be the filming of “Napalm Sunset”—the second part of the book—which is actually the filming of “Apocalypse Now” by Francis Coppola. Hagedorn replaces Coppola with Tony Pierce, and Cowboy with Vincent Moody, and many others while keeping authenticity of the hot difficult situation of foreign Americans filming and interacting with the natives in the Philippines. History, again, repeats itself here even though it features different actors and a new scenario. Pierce, Moody, and Fritz are shown how they naturally interact with and exploit the natives. Moody acts like a father to Lina and gets with her after meeting her at a strip club. Pierce hires cheap labor for his production, bossing around everyone alike and disrespectfully considers the surrounding land to be “a venture far too deep into the heart, where savages rule and civilization does not exist” or what ever Marshall was telling us how the director perceived the Philippine land to be—possibly a meaningless toy by the end of the movie. And then you have Fritz, who just wants to sell out his land’s resources to the American actors, and many other dirty businesses. His lusting efforts with Lina mentioned earlier were stopped because of Aling Belen, the protective old lady that watches over the foreigners with condemning eyes. From the book, how she acts is like an ancient spirit and pride of the Philippine homeland, watching over the land, agonized at the sight of the looting and raping of its people and earth.
Now, here comes the validity of history of Dream Jungle. It is true that Janet Pierce did a documentary of the movie and that the actors were partying and screwing around. The Spaniards did have done a lot of things towards the people and so have many other foreigners that come and go. Its also true that there was corruption (even today) with the high ranking officials selling out their people with the Talibo scam, prostitution, outsiders, and many more.
So what is false? The only false things here—but not limited to-- are the story of Zamora and his so called tribes, the diaries, documents and testimonies, the reporter Paz, and especially the old lady Alen Beling. But even if it is false, Jessica Hagedorn creates such fictional characters that to even dismiss it as false, would be dismissing the possibility of ever having such a type of person, attitude, and existence in real life. Lets take, for example, old lady Alen Beling, who represents the ancient spirit of her people’s homeland, and compare her with many of the old Filipino people who have seen the troubles that most young people at first don’t see. How can anyone like her NOT exist? These old people should already know how shameful it is to see their country wasting away by the unguided youth and ill intentioned foreigners. Or another example would be the recorded audio tape from Paz’s mother. What ever the mother was talking about could have happened, happened, or never have happened in this world at all like when she describes how she met Paz’s father. “Purely by accident.” She says (283) How many real life people in the Philippines could say that they did this? So in essence, the way history is in Dream Jungle is cultural, personal, and ethnical subjectivism.
Jessica Hagedorn fully integrates actual history with her fiction and story telling in such a way that it’s a blend of truth, untruth, and the unknown. The possibility that even such a person, place, or thing that existed can go along so well when it is indeed fiction alongside history, is the concept of her novel, Dream Jungle. One can only dream and fantasize with the idea that such and such exists and it may not even be possible, yet it could have happened. Think of it as an equation, where the history is the formula and the variables are humans, young and old. If you replace the setting or its pieces, the history will still be the same on the account that you don’t know IF it would ever not happen. The author does just that and presents to us a story heavily based on recorded evidence and the idea of indistinguishable real life drama scenarios.
Hagedorn, Jessica. Dream Jungle. New York: Penguin. 2003
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The Delgados--The Light Before We Land
Speaking of Dolls, this is perfect! Just what the Gunslinger, GitS, and many other existentialist anime talks about. Just feel like this is what happens when u become...an empty shell--an empty obedient shell. But its a pretty nice idea and song if you think about it.
In cases such as these i'd like a hand
Don't wake me up without a master plan
With black & white instead of colour
Don't you understand?
When things that once were beautiful
Are bland
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of me
Haven for us
In truth there is no better place to be
Than falling out of darkness still to see
Without a premonition
Could you tell me where we stand?
I'd hate to lose this light
Before we land
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhileSoak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Credits to lyrics time and youtube and the band.
In cases such as these i'd like a hand
Don't wake me up without a master plan
With black & white instead of colour
Don't you understand?
When things that once were beautiful
Are bland
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of me
Haven for us
In truth there is no better place to be
Than falling out of darkness still to see
Without a premonition
Could you tell me where we stand?
I'd hate to lose this light
Before we land
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhileSoak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Credits to lyrics time and youtube and the band.
New Take
Apparently, it appears that my style and point of view on life is changing. No more of that melodramtic teenage angst stuff. I thought it would be nice to look back at the blogs ive done and see what I have written. And oh man, its a doozy. I mean, I sound like THAT? geez..I sound soo self centered--but isnt that the point of a blog? a personal first person entry of me me me?~
My blog has taken on a new cahnge of thought. The way it is being conducted has also been cahnged..compared with 8 monthes ago...whew oh man.. x.x
My blog has taken on a new cahnge of thought. The way it is being conducted has also been cahnged..compared with 8 monthes ago...whew oh man.. x.x
What's in a Heart?
whats in a heart?
nothing but a few pieces of flesh and gallons of blood.
just a little bit of spices and alotta iron.
but what else is there to it?
what is there ?
what is it?
ah, yes, "it"
the metaphysical realm.
the heart, the soul, and the emotions.
something that none of us could ever forget.
it is that which was born with us the minute we exist.
our very own existence lies within our heart beat.
with each beat, we are alive.
it is a miracle that we are even breathing right now.
with each contraction, a determination
with each breath we take, a testament against death.
With each heart beat, a miracle
nonetheless
(part two) add on 20091205
We take it for granted
Heart health is a serious issue
in fact, all your organs have been taken for granted
ever looked at your skin and realized
that it is the biggest if not the most visable external organ?
But you smoke, you plead, you stress, and you hate.
All those stuff arent spose to be inhibiting from the body
much less say capable of doing so.
But people do anyway. dealingwith the external
not realizing that its the internal
mind, body, and spirit
nothing but a few pieces of flesh and gallons of blood.
just a little bit of spices and alotta iron.
but what else is there to it?
what is there ?
what is it?
ah, yes, "it"
the metaphysical realm.
the heart, the soul, and the emotions.
something that none of us could ever forget.
it is that which was born with us the minute we exist.
our very own existence lies within our heart beat.
with each beat, we are alive.
it is a miracle that we are even breathing right now.
with each contraction, a determination
with each breath we take, a testament against death.
With each heart beat, a miracle
nonetheless
(part two) add on 20091205
We take it for granted
Heart health is a serious issue
in fact, all your organs have been taken for granted
ever looked at your skin and realized
that it is the biggest if not the most visable external organ?
But you smoke, you plead, you stress, and you hate.
All those stuff arent spose to be inhibiting from the body
much less say capable of doing so.
But people do anyway. dealingwith the external
not realizing that its the internal
mind, body, and spirit
Farce of Life: Problems
We all have problems, so why should I care? I will not be a slave to others. I will not be controlled by every beckoning and every movement of that person. To hate, to despise, is to be controlled by external forces, forcing you to be under thier spell. Your very existence will be against and always troubled by thiers, no matter what they or you are doing.
We all have our own things to do, and if we consider them as an outsider and of no importance, do we really lose sight of something? Or is it good riddance? This is the dillemma I am facing. Girls do this perfectly and some guys do this as well. "I don't care, so sorry~" "That is none of my business" "Not my problem" "uh..I would do something..but as of now, I dont care" "Matters not to me, I dont give a shit"
Is this what apathy or even whats that word in that post that Tim has deleted... But anway, its something like that... Before a good thing can show up--- it gets cut off like that especially when it is of great disitnerest to a person. But that is natural, what I want to talk is along the lines of Self-Interests..
(an off topic example) Poor girls, they always want 10/A guys, but in the end, the majority of them will find it too hard or unhappy and they settle for an 8/B guy, which may be too late since theyve all got takened. Ignorance is bliss and yet, careful timing and utter ignorance is smart, secure, bliss. When we are older, thats when we are ready--but perhaps it is bio clock ticking, maybe thats why.
(slightly back on topic)
I realize theres a whole life ahead of us especially in the 20's..but can we really be happy if we dismiss things "unworthy" now and not care? will it help? will it bite back at us?
We all have our own things to do, and if we consider them as an outsider and of no importance, do we really lose sight of something? Or is it good riddance? This is the dillemma I am facing. Girls do this perfectly and some guys do this as well. "I don't care, so sorry~" "That is none of my business" "Not my problem" "uh..I would do something..but as of now, I dont care" "Matters not to me, I dont give a shit"
Is this what apathy or even whats that word in that post that Tim has deleted... But anway, its something like that... Before a good thing can show up--- it gets cut off like that especially when it is of great disitnerest to a person. But that is natural, what I want to talk is along the lines of Self-Interests..
(an off topic example) Poor girls, they always want 10/A guys, but in the end, the majority of them will find it too hard or unhappy and they settle for an 8/B guy, which may be too late since theyve all got takened. Ignorance is bliss and yet, careful timing and utter ignorance is smart, secure, bliss. When we are older, thats when we are ready--but perhaps it is bio clock ticking, maybe thats why.
(slightly back on topic)
I realize theres a whole life ahead of us especially in the 20's..but can we really be happy if we dismiss things "unworthy" now and not care? will it help? will it bite back at us?
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Contractor's Contract: A Blessing or a Curse?
( MI6 Contractors working together seen above)In the anime, Darker than Black, it features characters/people with super inhuman capabilities much like superheroes or those guys from"Heroes" (the TV series). These characters/people, however, are called Contractors and they look very well like a normal average person, except that they have powers. These powers range from ice to lightning to even time travel. But what I want to talk about is the contractor's contract, personality, and behaviors.
The contractors in DTB are much more like assassins or bodyguards or even spy agents for hire; used by other countries against other countries. They have a contract with whoever hired them and they have thier own personal contract (as of now, who knows how) which gives them their powers and terms. The terms are wierd in a way it's almost autistic or just plain harmful. Now, not all of them are equal, some may have stronger powers than others but what they all have is what the anime tries to talk about: Do contractors really feel any emotion? Contractors, themselves after entering in a contract they tend to "lose" any emotion and attachments they once had when they were "normal"--even they themselves stated this. But is this really true? Now this is where my dilemma starts.
Contractors are much, much more rational than an average person, much less say a proffessional business/lawyer/hitman. They take self-interests only to themselves and no other. (There are arguments against this such as the hidden suppression theory and the partner theory, but lets not get off hand here) They decide quickly and efficiently especially for the long run, when they will need something. They think what can be benefitial to them whatever that may be. They carry out the tasks given to them with no remorse. They have no feelings, emotions, or doubts, much less fear. They are also lifeless sometimes just like the dolls who are almost completely inanimate and rarely stimulated, save thier little movements.
Now if I or anyone to become a contractor, would it mean a better life? We would see things in more of a realist and practical view. We would also not have to worry about love, relationships, and friendships and maybe altruism.
(A Doll, seen above here)
Just thinkin of being a doll is also a comforting thing during times of distress/challenge/breakdowns. Imagine, able to stop feelin anything, and living your life out peacefully and stoically. Just think about it..enjoying every minute, every hour, and every day..kinda enlightenin like a monk isnt it? Wouldnt it be nice?
I find myself stimulated by doing everything calm, slowly with grace, and with green tea ;D
The contractors in DTB are much more like assassins or bodyguards or even spy agents for hire; used by other countries against other countries. They have a contract with whoever hired them and they have thier own personal contract (as of now, who knows how) which gives them their powers and terms. The terms are wierd in a way it's almost autistic or just plain harmful. Now, not all of them are equal, some may have stronger powers than others but what they all have is what the anime tries to talk about: Do contractors really feel any emotion? Contractors, themselves after entering in a contract they tend to "lose" any emotion and attachments they once had when they were "normal"--even they themselves stated this. But is this really true? Now this is where my dilemma starts.
Contractors are much, much more rational than an average person, much less say a proffessional business/lawyer/hitman. They take self-interests only to themselves and no other. (There are arguments against this such as the hidden suppression theory and the partner theory, but lets not get off hand here) They decide quickly and efficiently especially for the long run, when they will need something. They think what can be benefitial to them whatever that may be. They carry out the tasks given to them with no remorse. They have no feelings, emotions, or doubts, much less fear. They are also lifeless sometimes just like the dolls who are almost completely inanimate and rarely stimulated, save thier little movements.
Now if I or anyone to become a contractor, would it mean a better life? We would see things in more of a realist and practical view. We would also not have to worry about love, relationships, and friendships and maybe altruism.
(A Doll, seen above here)Just thinkin of being a doll is also a comforting thing during times of distress/challenge/breakdowns. Imagine, able to stop feelin anything, and living your life out peacefully and stoically. Just think about it..enjoying every minute, every hour, and every day..kinda enlightenin like a monk isnt it? Wouldnt it be nice?
I find myself stimulated by doing everything calm, slowly with grace, and with green tea ;D
Winter Wonderland...
I dont know why, I took a step forward, but only to stop when I finally have met her for the first time in person in awhile. I coudlnt even compliment her new hair and new glasses. Nor could I strike up a good conversation. But I spose that is because of the cold weather and perhaps she had something else to do.
gah..when I left, that was horrible..a poke..and then a retarded convo with brandon and then sayin bye to him and her. Hugged her, alas..but still..(at least I did something) I should have done so in the beginning...fsck...its like..I am not allowed to touch her; more like theres some kind of sacred restraint Ive placed on myself.
It was cold. I was actaulyl quite lonely. Everyone there were doin thier own thing. I had not much ppl of my circle to hang, although I did met some other 09 and other graduates, most of the kids there were all freshies and sophomores..gah...everyone was small o.o
It was cold. I can't believe I left my headlights on ><
It was cold. I needa work out....
Alas...I'm lost once again...?
gah..when I left, that was horrible..a poke..and then a retarded convo with brandon and then sayin bye to him and her. Hugged her, alas..but still..(at least I did something) I should have done so in the beginning...fsck...its like..I am not allowed to touch her; more like theres some kind of sacred restraint Ive placed on myself.
It was cold. I was actaulyl quite lonely. Everyone there were doin thier own thing. I had not much ppl of my circle to hang, although I did met some other 09 and other graduates, most of the kids there were all freshies and sophomores..gah...everyone was small o.o
It was cold. I can't believe I left my headlights on ><
It was cold. I needa work out....
Alas...I'm lost once again...?
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