Monday, December 28, 2009
Watchin Movies
There is no point for me to watch it alone, otherwise no one will know what I'm expressing, rationalizing, or even talkin about. *sighs*
Watchin some movies togehrter means that you are also spendin some quality time and that you dont have to do much cause the movie is the filler. Just being next to the person means a plenty. Your very own existence throughout that time is good enough.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
EYE SEE ES TWENTY FOUR
ICS 24
Marilyn
12/8/09
EYE SEE ES TWENTY FOUR
The quarter is at it's end. As I look back on the class, I realized that this was one big community with art, intelligence, support, and best of all, life. The goal of the LinC class was a success. This course along it's classmates really felt like another group of family and friends as it was intended to be. Whoever made it, was a genius. I see that I have changed after experiencing the course material and seeing my colleagues' art, compassion, and existence.
Marshall gave us many assignments in which we have to present ourselves and our art, and take notes of each others works. This was how I got to know a lot of the people in class (besides mingling with them). For example, Fatima made a demon story which told her experience going to the Philippines and how miserable and wet it was. I never knew that about her and now I do. Or when Xang started ranting out lyrics and voicing his dissenting opinion against Marshall's beliefs. That was eccentric since he was the few that openly disagreed, and even more so, that his style of rant was of anguish and EMINEM rap. But then again, there are some things that I found out that I, or anyone else, shouldnt have known at all such as Marshall himself.
This course was a freaking family. Compassion was everywhere needed. As each of us told our stories of past experiences, legacies, and problems, the class was always there, listening and taking it in as each information was presented and revealed. My story, Karissa's American Dream story, Yong's language story, Marshall's dick problems, Marilyn's hippy stories--hell, I realised most of our stories were international experiences or past problems, maybe even prejudices. But the main point is how we can relate to one another and how carefully we have listened and respected each other's views. I became more comfortable with talking out my view points in front of everyone and not pussy foot things like how I once did before in highschool.
But above all, just knowing my colleagues and how they even existed in this world has changed my attitude about it. There is soo much culture, ethics, love, respect, and experiences that none of us knew we had or received. I am more optimistic about America now than I ever was. I finally understood what it meant to be in a community of love, friends, and diversity. The existence of of these communities are what makes America, America. It is a melting pot of everyone and their stories. I am glad to have taken this class with Marshall, Jim, and especially Marilyn. I am more aware of my being and of other aspects and people of the world. I will be missing ICS 24.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The History Dream Final
ICS 24
Marilyn
12/3/09
The History Dream
Churchill once said. “History is written by the victors.” This holds true since the conqueror can gloat and glorify all he wants and show the world in his image. The concept of history in Dream Jungle is an interesting one, in which reality and fiction have been merged together in a way that its almost indistinguishable. Jessica Hagedorn merges the Philippine’s dramatic history and the filming of “Apocalypse Now” with her very own fiction and message. She uses scapegoats, and foils for each character and historical contexts to make specific references to each event as it has happened, could have happened, and never happened because history is bound to repeat itself.
The first of a few references Hagedorn makes is the idea or history of “discovery and conquest” in the Philippines. In fact, it is what the first part of her novel is called. The Philippines have been conquered and occupied by foreign invaders many times before. The Filipino people and their resources have been raped, used, and wasted time over time again and again. A good example would be the Spaniards, who have sailed by and conquered the people under their rule in the process centuries ago. Hagedorn included several excerpts from “Primo Viaggio Intorno Al Mundo” by Antonio Pigagetta, who was the travel log recorder of Captain Magellan’s expedition around the world, and she included her own fictional character, a rich Spaniard aptly named Zamora de Legazpi. Zomora de Legazpi represents a parallel foil to the wealthy Spaniards, specifically Captain Magellan and many other conquistadores, who “discovered” a group of natives, “taught” them a lesson, “took” their woman and goods, and thus “conquering” the indigenous people. There have been many references to this from the excerpt of Antonio Pigagetta when he was observing the natives such as “…and those boats resemble the dolphins which leap in the water from wave to wave. Those Ladroni (i.e., robbers) thought, according to the signs which they made, that there were no other people in the world but themselves.”(4) Or when they were in shock and awe, experiencing defeat at the lost of their beloved Captain:
One of them wounded him on the left leg with a large cutlass, which resembles a scimitar, only being larger. That caused the captain to fall face downward, when immediately they rushed upon him with iron and bamboo spears and with their cutlasses until they killed our mirror, our life, our comfort, and our true guide. (106)
Ironic isn’t it? How they referred to their captain as if something great and holy, but he, the captain, along with everyone else, just wanted gold and conquest in the name of God.
Zamora, however, is pretty much the same especially when he bosses around his servants and taking advantage with the young girls like when he was naked and lecturing in front of Rizalina. “Enough about dreams. You’d better go, little girl. Or else your mother will think poorly of me…I’ve lived up to my promise, haven’t I?...You can stop trembling now. The lesson is over.”(49) Or when Zamora is flirty, eager to have sex with many mistresses outside of his marriage such as Celia, his baby caretaker, who just had an abortion because of him. Poor little girls, you can imagine how scared they were and how much of their innocence was lost. And then there is Bodabil, a small Taobo boy Zamora found deep within the uninhabited Philippine mountain regions. This is a reference to the Talibo scam back in the day with the President and false relief fund “PIMPF” in order to gain easy money. But the point is that Zamora claimed that he discovered these indigenous people and that he will save these people from their Stone Age ways for “ who knows what’s sake”. It ended in a terrible way more or less like Captain Magellan and his men, he was soon questioned with the validity of his relief effort, losing his family, losing Rizalina, and slowly dying away, losing his significance.
Zomora’s thirst for lust and dominance is like that of the foreign conquistadores centuries ago whose justification for conquering may be nothing short of “colonialism”, a term mentioned by Ann-Lesley. Legazipi also has an interesting foil of himself, the sadistic Mayor Fritz Magbantay. Hagedorn has created the sadistic Mayor Fritz to show how devious man can be as he lectures in front of his innocent victims (just like how the invaders and Zamora did) right before he does something shameful to them. Nap, Fritz’s driver, thought of this as he witnessed Fritz lecturing to Lina inside the car later on in part two of the book: “What’s the deal with her anyway? She was just a teenage girl, slightly prettier than most, but so what?” (257)
Another reference to history would be the filming of “Napalm Sunset”—the second part of the book—which is actually the filming of “Apocalypse Now” by Francis Coppola. Hagedorn replaces Coppola with Tony Pierce, and Cowboy with Vincent Moody, and many others while keeping authenticity of the hot difficult situation of foreign Americans filming and interacting with the natives in the Philippines. History, again, repeats itself here even though it features different actors and a new scenario. Pierce, Moody, and Fritz are shown how they naturally interact with and exploit the natives. Moody acts like a father to Lina and gets with her after meeting her at a strip club. Pierce hires cheap labor for his production, bossing around everyone alike and disrespectfully considers the surrounding land to be “a venture far too deep into the heart, where savages rule and civilization does not exist” or what ever Marshall was telling us how the director perceived the Philippine land to be—possibly a meaningless toy by the end of the movie. And then you have Fritz, who just wants to sell out his land’s resources to the American actors, and many other dirty businesses. His lusting efforts with Lina mentioned earlier were stopped because of Aling Belen, the protective old lady that watches over the foreigners with condemning eyes. From the book, how she acts is like an ancient spirit and pride of the Philippine homeland, watching over the land, agonized at the sight of the looting and raping of its people and earth.
Now, here comes the validity of history of Dream Jungle. It is true that Janet Pierce did a documentary of the movie and that the actors were partying and screwing around. The Spaniards did have done a lot of things towards the people and so have many other foreigners that come and go. Its also true that there was corruption (even today) with the high ranking officials selling out their people with the Talibo scam, prostitution, outsiders, and many more.
So what is false? The only false things here—but not limited to-- are the story of Zamora and his so called tribes, the diaries, documents and testimonies, the reporter Paz, and especially the old lady Alen Beling. But even if it is false, Jessica Hagedorn creates such fictional characters that to even dismiss it as false, would be dismissing the possibility of ever having such a type of person, attitude, and existence in real life. Lets take, for example, old lady Alen Beling, who represents the ancient spirit of her people’s homeland, and compare her with many of the old Filipino people who have seen the troubles that most young people at first don’t see. How can anyone like her NOT exist? These old people should already know how shameful it is to see their country wasting away by the unguided youth and ill intentioned foreigners. Or another example would be the recorded audio tape from Paz’s mother. What ever the mother was talking about could have happened, happened, or never have happened in this world at all like when she describes how she met Paz’s father. “Purely by accident.” She says (283) How many real life people in the Philippines could say that they did this? So in essence, the way history is in Dream Jungle is cultural, personal, and ethnical subjectivism.
Jessica Hagedorn fully integrates actual history with her fiction and story telling in such a way that it’s a blend of truth, untruth, and the unknown. The possibility that even such a person, place, or thing that existed can go along so well when it is indeed fiction alongside history, is the concept of her novel, Dream Jungle. One can only dream and fantasize with the idea that such and such exists and it may not even be possible, yet it could have happened. Think of it as an equation, where the history is the formula and the variables are humans, young and old. If you replace the setting or its pieces, the history will still be the same on the account that you don’t know IF it would ever not happen. The author does just that and presents to us a story heavily based on recorded evidence and the idea of indistinguishable real life drama scenarios.
Hagedorn, Jessica. Dream Jungle. New York: Penguin. 2003
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The Delgados--The Light Before We Land
In cases such as these i'd like a hand
Don't wake me up without a master plan
With black & white instead of colour
Don't you understand?
When things that once were beautiful
Are bland
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of me
Haven for us
In truth there is no better place to be
Than falling out of darkness still to see
Without a premonition
Could you tell me where we stand?
I'd hate to lose this light
Before we land
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real
And when i feel like i can feel once again
Let me stay awhileSoak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us
Credits to lyrics time and youtube and the band.
New Take
My blog has taken on a new cahnge of thought. The way it is being conducted has also been cahnged..compared with 8 monthes ago...whew oh man.. x.x
What's in a Heart?
nothing but a few pieces of flesh and gallons of blood.
just a little bit of spices and alotta iron.
but what else is there to it?
what is there ?
what is it?
ah, yes, "it"
the metaphysical realm.
the heart, the soul, and the emotions.
something that none of us could ever forget.
it is that which was born with us the minute we exist.
our very own existence lies within our heart beat.
with each beat, we are alive.
it is a miracle that we are even breathing right now.
with each contraction, a determination
with each breath we take, a testament against death.
With each heart beat, a miracle
nonetheless
(part two) add on 20091205
We take it for granted
Heart health is a serious issue
in fact, all your organs have been taken for granted
ever looked at your skin and realized
that it is the biggest if not the most visable external organ?
But you smoke, you plead, you stress, and you hate.
All those stuff arent spose to be inhibiting from the body
much less say capable of doing so.
But people do anyway. dealingwith the external
not realizing that its the internal
mind, body, and spirit
Farce of Life: Problems
We all have our own things to do, and if we consider them as an outsider and of no importance, do we really lose sight of something? Or is it good riddance? This is the dillemma I am facing. Girls do this perfectly and some guys do this as well. "I don't care, so sorry~" "That is none of my business" "Not my problem" "uh..I would do something..but as of now, I dont care" "Matters not to me, I dont give a shit"
Is this what apathy or even whats that word in that post that Tim has deleted... But anway, its something like that... Before a good thing can show up--- it gets cut off like that especially when it is of great disitnerest to a person. But that is natural, what I want to talk is along the lines of Self-Interests..
(an off topic example) Poor girls, they always want 10/A guys, but in the end, the majority of them will find it too hard or unhappy and they settle for an 8/B guy, which may be too late since theyve all got takened. Ignorance is bliss and yet, careful timing and utter ignorance is smart, secure, bliss. When we are older, thats when we are ready--but perhaps it is bio clock ticking, maybe thats why.
(slightly back on topic)
I realize theres a whole life ahead of us especially in the 20's..but can we really be happy if we dismiss things "unworthy" now and not care? will it help? will it bite back at us?
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Contractor's Contract: A Blessing or a Curse?

The contractors in DTB are much more like assassins or bodyguards or even spy agents for hire; used by other countries against other countries. They have a contract with whoever hired them and they have thier own personal contract (as of now, who knows how) which gives them their powers and terms. The terms are wierd in a way it's almost autistic or just plain harmful. Now, not all of them are equal, some may have stronger powers than others but what they all have is what the anime tries to talk about: Do contractors really feel any emotion? Contractors, themselves after entering in a contract they tend to "lose" any emotion and attachments they once had when they were "normal"--even they themselves stated this. But is this really true? Now this is where my dilemma starts.
Contractors are much, much more rational than an average person, much less say a proffessional business/lawyer/hitman. They take self-interests only to themselves and no other. (There are arguments against this such as the hidden suppression theory and the partner theory, but lets not get off hand here) They decide quickly and efficiently especially for the long run, when they will need something. They think what can be benefitial to them whatever that may be. They carry out the tasks given to them with no remorse. They have no feelings, emotions, or doubts, much less fear. They are also lifeless sometimes just like the dolls who are almost completely inanimate and rarely stimulated, save thier little movements.
Now if I or anyone to become a contractor, would it mean a better life? We would see things in more of a realist and practical view. We would also not have to worry about love, relationships, and friendships and maybe altruism.

Just thinkin of being a doll is also a comforting thing during times of distress/challenge/breakdowns. Imagine, able to stop feelin anything, and living your life out peacefully and stoically. Just think about it..enjoying every minute, every hour, and every day..kinda enlightenin like a monk isnt it? Wouldnt it be nice?
I find myself stimulated by doing everything calm, slowly with grace, and with green tea ;D
Winter Wonderland...
gah..when I left, that was horrible..a poke..and then a retarded convo with brandon and then sayin bye to him and her. Hugged her, alas..but still..(at least I did something) I should have done so in the beginning...fsck...its like..I am not allowed to touch her; more like theres some kind of sacred restraint Ive placed on myself.
It was cold. I was actaulyl quite lonely. Everyone there were doin thier own thing. I had not much ppl of my circle to hang, although I did met some other 09 and other graduates, most of the kids there were all freshies and sophomores..gah...everyone was small o.o
It was cold. I can't believe I left my headlights on ><
It was cold. I needa work out....
Alas...I'm lost once again...?
Monday, November 23, 2009
High School Life
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Things to Write About...2
There are only beleivers and non-bleievers, therefore, the boundaries between us Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and so on are not there But at teh same time, it exists even right now, why? is it the name? the rituals? the prejudice? the pride? the fear of truth? what is it? Is it cause we just exist?
Defragment your heart, mind, and soul.
Hatred will make a slave out of you. You will be bound to the person's every whim, movement, and expression. A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys..
In the end, there are only believers and nonbeleivers. so might as well spread the news of doomsday to see if they truely are who tehy say they are. cause when things go chaotic and they know they will die, they may just go around killing and such. we dont know the exact date of the end, but its best to live and do good and spread the faith towards everything and everyone in the mean time. there is no point to even prepare doomsday. is that why theres those crazy old guys terrorizing ppl during disasters saying "repent!" and the "end of the world"?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I visited my high school today..
It was pretty nice, saw some CC ppl as they are heading off to CCS and had some teasings by Commander and Master Chief (just cause of Army affiliations). And I also managed to talk and say hi to some of my juniors--most but one :(
I came too late. She started moving yesterday and now shes in London, England. *Sighs* this sucks, i was too late! >< but alas...theres always facebook--which is prolly the only reason why it existed in the first place; to keep in touch with college peeps.
Life has been interesting lately. 1%. Time. Homesick. Maturity. Knowledge. Experience. Everythings been floating around my head...it seems I've been thinkin too much about everything at once.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
YATTA!
After the test, it was a doozy--I think I may have acted wierd in front of the test administrators. Anyway, I got out and found that same girl again, a guy who nodded at me, and a girl who was doing wierd steps on teh floor, but either way, it felt like we were all there together--brothers and sisters or something you know?
I left the building quickly and as I came out I was smiling and laughing...that I got a 90 on the ASVAB (not as good as Martin's or Albert's but..) Impressive! Unbelievable! And so I called SSG Lopez and told him about who also told Ana about it as well.
Then I drove home on the Bayshore highway, and man, did it felt like that day where I went to Victoria's pageant thing..it was an awesome peaceful feeling like ur near teh beach and the sun is setting. I got caught in traffic but i was able to see teh sights and pretty soon traffic flowed through and it felt like something out of Need For Speed Underground 2; where all the city lights, bridges, and roads all intertwine with the cars and buildings causing a breath taking urban scenery.. *.*
ITS FRIGGIN AWESOME. I think this is the point where I start loving traveling..and the Night Life >:]
Friday, October 16, 2009
To the Recruiter!
In the beginning, it was funny. I started leaving at 1117 and called ana and she walked from windys to my place--it wasnt a long wait. And so we set off towards mclaughlin and thats when karina asked us she needed a ride which i thought she was driving there herself.
It took us like a half hour to finally get to the recruiters. But it was worth it cause later after we left the office we went to jamba juice and got a good discount. ^_^o
however it was strange that tehre were cops around yerba buena high school. i guess it was thier spirit day/ special event or something and that the cops were crowd control.
ehhhhh fast post
Haibane Renmei
And I just want to start of with..Haibane Renmei.

By golly, this anime is quite the most saddest, peaceful anime I have ever seen--but then agian im really sensitive and into emotional things.
In the beginning its really interesting to see the birth and introduction of Rakka and the Haibane of Old Home. The town itself exists solely for the Haibane including the Walls, which are forbidden to be touched, and the Communicator of the Toga, who cant be spoken to unless permissed.
The everyday life in the sure-as-peaceful town is suddenly interupted by sudden questions of existentialism and a searching for a past in dreams. Rakka will soon learn how the system works and how she can help her friend be freed of her Sin.
The reason I love this anime is because I first found out that the same artist who drew for Serial Experiments Lain drew this as well--and, no kiddin. The art is soo his style and it looks fucking great!
Art may be one factor, but the style is nice too. I love peaceful animes, especially, the one that shows aspect to aspect scenes and letting the beauty of everyday life stand still and significant.
But perhaps what makes this anime memorable is the music and the sad twisted story. The music is friggin mellow and soothingly sad..it makes me wanna cry and remember all who has been involved in the anime. The Town and it's denizens, the Haibane, and the slice of life genre. People live day by day and then soon have to move on, towards something greater, leaving loved ones behind.
To conclude, this anime is friggin awesome going at only 13 episodes long. Oh, and a side note, its good to watch this in the fall/winter. I highly reccomend this and applause at the creator. Thank you Japanese people! ^_^o btw this animes in french as well which is nice--more ppl to recognize animations!
(have you noticed why all the good animes--besides OnePiece--are short? I mean, they range from 4-6 episodes to 13-26 episodes and sometimes just end there because it is the end)
Friday, September 18, 2009
Back again..
This is a brief list of what I did this Summer of 2009..
Animes Watched:
Gunslinger Girl, Gunslinger Girl Il Teatrino, Welcome to the NHK, Paranoia Agent, Gantz, Rozen Maiden,
Rozen Maiden Traumend, Darker Than Black,
Animes Yet to Watch/Finish:
Code Geass, Hajime no Ippo, Shakuran no Shana, Mushi Shi, Baccano, Black Lagoon, Noir, Serial
Experiments Lain, Lucky Star, Mai-Hime, Ikigami, Le Portrait de Petit Cossette, Ouran Host Club,
Other Shows watched/watching:
Heroes season 3, a bunch of movies,
Got License/Car
Worked out
Eat
Sleep
Contemplated about Life
Became lonely
found out not lonely
started RCIA
got sick for a bit
hanged out
some social outings
summer school
befriend with great friends
learned alot
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Despairity...
This summer-is-perhaps, the turning point of my life. In fact, it is the turning point of life. This is where you will go to college, where you will meet new people, where you will work and earn a living, and where you will choose what you will become. This summer is where I realized that I have no true friends, that I was paranoid of an aftermath, that I watched one of the greatest animes of all time, that I am going to college, that I am uncertain of the future, that I have been enlightened beyond my expectations, and that I...
I want to first write about friends. I have no true friends. Even my best friend isnt really so and so although we both aspire to be honorable men with values.
I realized my differences with them are as unique as my own individuality. My faith, my sentimentality, my personality, my skills, my way of kindness, my gentleness, and my way of living are all different from my friends-guy or girl. But that is to be expected since we are all different right? Or maybe I am just that different from the rest of them. I was classified as an ENFJ afterall.
During this summer, I was also paranoid at the outside world especially the motives of some certain people. Whenever I stay at home, its like I'm living under a rock with no current social news other than the TV, Internet, and whatever media I manage to get my hands on. Tony and Victoria may be going around badmouthing and ruining my reputation-but hey, its not like this hasnt happened before. As of recently, it appears Tony doesnt give a shit about me, and I spose its a good thing; that must mean he doesnt wanna bother with me anymore. But we'll never know unless we get through his head wont we? In fact, I believe his birthday passed and he made a party but i wasnt invited-no-more like his friends gave him a party with him in mind. You see, they care about him, and I find this fact interesting. And Victoria, she got together with My, I'm not sure how much his opinion has changed of me, but it seems hes affected one way or another. I am not sad that they are together, no, hopefully this time she can finally be taken care of and move on away from her past.
Speaking of past, Victoria may be the girl with a past, but it apppears I am the man with the past. I sometiems think back to a moment where its embarrassing, futile, or inevitably happening. I relive the moment, play it back again, and try to run it a different way so that next time that mistake won't happen again. I gotta stop doing that because its occuring all too much! I gotta move on, learn it, forget it, no more sorrow, sadness, or regrets. Regrets..just like with Ly. omg.
I am really sorry Ly, hountou ni gomenasai -.- I really am. I didnt mean this to happen. I was a double agent--no, a used double agent. I liked Victoria but at the same time I didnt know I was violating friendships and whatnot. I didnt even consider you or anyone elses feelings/privacy. All I did was scoop around, dig for information and relay it back to whom-I-thought-can-be-trusted Victoria. But no, in the end, after I tried helping her and going to her ChinaTown Gala, and wasting my own time, she just gets rid of me over a stupid quarrel of me and Josie in Econ. *Sighs* Projects can really mess up friendships especially when you have perfectionists on it.
Anyway, I dont expect to be truely forgiven. From this point on, I realized that I am lonely. Martin may be friendly and all but really, after all thats happened..Ly too..so is Victoria, Tony, Josie, and possibly a bunch of others that got corrupted by those two.
(Side Note: Never be a False Preacher or fall to follow your own preachings(?)-For example; Never say Love you as a Friend if the thought of becoming a lover is desperately on your mind. )
I believe this is what I needed to write all this time. Hopefully there will be more corrections, rationalizations, entertainment, and quality in my writing next time.
Take this and put it your pipe and smoke it.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Summer Vacation
Planned to party after turning in the Portfolio with Noa and the rest of the guys. But I also had to baby sit mother fucking kevin tran's ass. In fact, he was soo whiny today that I am amazed I didn't left him behind. David was good since he kept the humor and jokes going. The others didnt go includin Noa. Oh well, so much for my plan.
NOTE: Take 2 classes or so to get enough credits to register early.
Also, Dont get your plans mixed up with a whiny assfuckinghole. >:O
Valco fashion...go there..and around the rest of Cupertino..
Sunday, August 2, 2009
It'll rain over...
For it’ll rain over the sea
Over the summer
Over the spring time
And over me
Incomplete
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Here comes the Prolific..
Aiden "Eagle" Hayden.
Friday, July 17, 2009
For FFUN~
cu fcuu o n,uotyyk
ah a sstjueu c sahos u mbckwyy
goave enooauamgh hnded eu y
pfsugn ucdoni kytti
t y g sluowiaosnhrs ikgeoomnuaw ne lh
nayaiyttvtic oh r ucir oisepstihc bs
toha namtnidoeftwno o gu a
eUu K FrY cptCi,hOteU
rnifor dcdttuaygalaoiesnaucna no
te p uoieshsc, yoifith
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Things to Write about..
Anyway, I have had a few "SUDDEN THOUGHTS" and ideas lately to which i am suppose to write about or keep note of, but I am just too lazy to, so I'll write/jot them here for future's sake:
-Albert and Jess, a lovely couple that still needs to know how to be a couple. They get into a state of shyness and awkwardness when they are close to each other and attempting PDA or being forced by others to do PDA. But the great thing is, they get support from thier fellow friends. Kinda reminded me and my ex..but both of us never had any support especially from my friends, and no one knew how we feel, and im pretty damn sure its something like how Albert feels-- the awkwardness and the shyness...heh
-SUDDEN THOUGHTS, a coined term by me, when I have these sudden ideas and epiphanies.
-WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SEX IN MOVIES? I MEAN CMON IM GETTIN TIRED OF IT. If i wanted to watch people having sex, I can go watch porn! >:[ Everyone movie nowadays are having sex scenes, and guess what, it just doesnt make sense but it does lower our standards of a decent marriage..or advertise sex...fuck it.
-It appears a young friend of mine is also goin to college summer school with me, and little did i know how many times i've bumped into him...hehe that discreet lil kid..
-There are a lot of girls in college...
-This quote is just plain dirty bastard.."Many American parents think that today's colleges are veritable breeding grounds for premarital sex. Nonsense. Each year, literally tens of students graduate with their virtue still intact."-- Gregg Hopkins
-I Love Guilty Gear and Blazblue(this game is on sale for 60 dollars and you can get the CE for the same price! WTF I can't keep buyin games new!!) >:[
But yeah, LOVE the MUSIC!
-Games to look out and for sure getting: HALO ODST, CODMW2, GoWAFC, and Dragon Age Origins CE.
-And then there's Assassin's Creed 2, L4D2, Splinter Cell Conviction, Castle Crashers, -- gosh, soo many games, so lil time, and money! #_#
Monday, July 13, 2009
I will Possess Your Heart
I will Possess Your Heart by Deathcab for Cutie
thanks songmeanings.net
How I wish you could see the potential
The potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound
But in a language you can't read just yet
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
There are days when outside your window
I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective
When we'll be lovers, lovers at last
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
I will possess your heart
I will possess your heart
You reject my advances and desperate pleas
I won't let you let me down so easily
So easily
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
I will possess your heart
I will possess your heart
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Be My Escape
-courtesy of lyricstime
I̢۪ve given up.
I'm giving up slowly,
I̢۪m blending in so you won̢۪t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet that you mention is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away
And I̢۪ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I̢۪ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I̢۪ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there̢۪s no way in knowing where to go,
I promise I̢۪m going because
I gotta get outta here
I̢۪m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I̢۪m begging you, I̢۪m begging you,
I̢۪m begging you to be my escape.
I̢۪m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I̢۪ve failed and I̢۪m ready to be shown how
He̢۪s told me the way and I̢۪m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I̢۪m serving
I admit that I̢۪m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I̢۪ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I̢۪ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I̢۪ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there̢۪s no way in knowing where to go,
I promise I̢۪m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I̢۪m afraid that this complacency is something I can̢۪t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I̢۪m begging you, I̢۪m begging you,
I̢۪m begging you to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I̢۪ve made
And all I̢۪m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can̢۪t ask you to give what you already gave
Cause I̢۪ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I̢۪ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I̢۪ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there̢۪s no way in knowing where to go,
I promise I̢۪m going because
I̢۪ve gotta get outta here
I̢۪m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I̢۪ve gotta get outta here
And I̢۪m begging you, I̢۪m begging you,
I̢۪m begging you to be my escape.
I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were you
So were you
Saturday, July 11, 2009
House Shopping
-has two stories
-is very messy and dirty ( junk and stains all over the place)
- broken down garage door
- has A LOT of rooms, no master bedroom though. Each room has a closet followed by another room, whether mini or big.
-has a light green paint on the outside along with a plaster of St. Mary, possibly because it was a Mexican's house.
-Note: the front door has a nice eagle or bird carving in the middle of it.
-very comfy, cousy, low class, cute, small and in a busy commercial district
-may be hard to get out of driveway
-NEEDS ALOT OF REMODELING, RENOVATING, DECORATING, and CLEANING BUT WORTH IT IN THE END
House #2
-is VERY large horizontally.
-has no upstairs.
-has a master bedroom and 2 rooms
- has a large kitchen, dining, an living area.
-has another possible kitchen area, or for washing machine, or hardware stuff.
-no garage, but big open front space
- a LOT cleaner than the first house
-Note: this house has the same kind of front door as the first but with a spiral carving pattern
- very luxurious, very.."white".
-
gosh, i dunno why i prefer the first house though
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Paragraph #2
What is one reason why the media uses so much violent content?
Hollywood uses so much violent content with their movies because it is what most consumers want. It is statistically known that American pop culture consists of action movie violence and these action movies with violence sell, quite staggeringly. It is also known that violence in action movies are all fake, all planned and presented for the audience in mind. Our culture has gotten a taste for this fantasy violence, violence that is not real of course and so it is a popular trend. Take note that in real life, these types of violence will never happen like how the movies portray it. For example, the movie “Pulp Fiction”, “Die Hard”, and “Scarface” are now a classic part of our American culture after it premiered with great violence and destruction. Nowadays there are movies that are trying to top that level of violence, and things just seem to get better and innovative with more violent content.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Word of Whenever..
Learn how to be Patient!
Learn the Art of Waiting!
Learn how to control your excitement but at the same time have some excitement to stay "alive".
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Assholes on the streets..2?

Well actually part 1 and a 1/2... and in fact..iunno if the cop was being an asshole..
I was driving near my home, returnin to my driveway, and like..there was a cruiser behind me followin me deeply behind. It was kinda nerve racking and I was pretty chillax until i turned to my driveway. The cop just revved up and went past by as if he was pissed off and tellin me i was goin slow...right..
I believe he just had to respond to some emergency earlier ( there were fire trucks and ambulances comin towards dove hill), and so, I forgive him.
gosh, what a wonderful driving experience huh~
Side note-- I met Victoria at the library, just a glimpse, and maybe she saw me too. For some reason before I met her, I was comin out of the parking space and saw a van pullin out and it reminded me of her mom. Then I saw another van comin in and turns out that was her mom as I was turning right out to the driveway. I saw Victoria in the passenger seat too, not sure if she saw me, since I was wearin glasses. Pretty neat huh?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Assholes on the streets..

Okay, Okay, you see, I was drivin', ya see? This morning was fine until I did a U turn at Tully you see? And there was this asshole that came by, revving his engine, accelerating his speed. and makin' a lot of noise, feh, he was just tryin to scare me. I wasn't even scared, hell, I didn't know he even existed until he made such a loud ruckus that didn't even flinched me ( not to brag, i didn't give a damn, its cool to be still standing after a loud Boom)
And then there was another asshole, well actually, this guy just proves that Asians are bad drivers since I stopped at my stopping line and went ahead with my turn and this guy...this guy he was clueless or somethin, thinkin' he could go forward and turn my general direction-BIG MISTAKE-. We were about to collide. He gave an expression of disapproval, I think, whatever, I don't give a fuck cause I was on an errand.
And finally, the guy that took the cake..this guy actually made me worried and get pressured. I beleive I know how it feels to be tailgated now..and not only tailgated but being honked at! Hell! this guy is like..teenager age and like he just fucking broke a bunch of rules.. I was driving down Chaboya you see and well there was a speed limit and there was multiple stop signs-- I obeyed all of them, he didn't. This guy was the biggest asshole on teh streets, with his prelude..it seems that he was tryin to compensate for something..oh well I guess I know why he was mad~
So ends the main tales of my day...fucking bitches...
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Graduation!
Today was the day, the day we all graduate and move on with our lives. Let me just first say, I didn't really realize the impact it made on me until I was eating dinner with my dad. The love, the memories, the companionship, and some kind of emotion greater than normal appeared to me. It may perhaps be just a tiny percentage of what God's love is, I remember feeling it before, but this cold world has made me numb, so numb that I had forgotten this feeling. This feeling of enlightenment and love was..refreshing..it made me think about God and everyone that I ever cared and should be able to care.
Thus, an epiphany was shown..
Anywho, today was Jeffrey's graduation too, unfortunately I do not know why I did not told dad about it. After Jeffrey's was mine. And it was a nice one to boot. So many people, friends, family...I guess this is where my epiphany started. I finally met Huy's sisters and family after all these years..*sighs* so nice, so wonderful, lovely..
Couldn't find my brother(s) until the end and didn't had any cammy on me except dad's (THANK GOD). Took pictures with a lot of people as much possible and hugged many of them.
and finally we went home and ate with dad. While eating, I found out that dad was just innocent, lost, and actually still a kid/ a youngun. It's hard to describe, but I saw this view before and that was several years ago. I guess if you truely see how they struggle with life, you will come to understand and become enlightened, weak, pitiful, sympathetic, and so much more...
*sighs*
without further adue, we must move on..towards greatness and success..
"We have eyes in the front of our heads, so that we can look on forward the day" but also " We are able to see other people's backs and see where they're comin' from and we can guide ourselves through others as well" -- some random selfmodified quote from Gurren Lagann.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
ROTC Luau
I've taken quite a few shots with cammy myself, even dirty ones. Speaking of dirty, DO NOT PLAY DARE/TRUTH with GIRLS. I humbly warned you.
Anywho to sum it up, Jonathan made this video...quite nicely, loved how he put a background, a slide show and a friggin video all at the same time.
Tony was being uber lazy and didn't came despite the fact that I went to his house and left with Raymund and his lil' brother.
Albert was being lazy until I somehow got Jess to persuade him.
Overall, there were few seniors there and there were mostly juniors, sophomores, and freshmans and some lil kiddies and a dog( the dog was cool because it was cute beyond all reason).
Oh, also, I wasn't about to take a shot of Master Chief, who showed up for a bit and left for his "6th" date.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Yearbooks..
1) You need to find the person(s) you are looking for. ( You may never find them)
2) You need to think up of something to write about in a given amount of time. (It varies quite well)
3) You need to keep your yearbook safe and away from thieving hands. (Tony..lol jk)
4) Finding the right color and writing utensil for your own yearbook as well as the other person's.(This is school, Come Prepared! )
5) You may also lose some pens or gain some pens in the process of the chaotic confusion. ( I lost me blue and red sharpie >:[ )
Anywho, I am glad I got my yearbook signed by..quite an amount of people, friends, teachers, and classmates. I got to some of my favorite people,however, I am still not satisfied. I still have yet to get some other's to sign it, but I guess it cannot be helped...I am not going to school tomorrow since it is pointless now with the Senior Final Grades Finalized and such.
Gosh, I love reading everyone's comments and I am gonna miss most if not a few of them.
Peace Out!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Happy 18th..<333
Remember last time I wrote an entry about being 17 or so? Well..yeah..being 17 is cool and all since..iunno I just like it :P
But yeah, today Tony called me "old", and if I were those crazy girls, I'd go nuts over that remark. Age has nothing to do with being "old". It is just a number to a standard that doesn't technically exist. This standard is time if anyone is asking. But if it doesnt matter, then why do I complain about not being 17?...Well, cause..it's cool~
:D~
*sighs* I am tired right now, soo many things to do! oh, and thanks for all those who have wished me a happy birthday ^_^o<333
Monday, June 1, 2009
E3 2009
and yes, I'm covering the 360 side..cause that's what I just saw..http://www.xbox.com/en-US/default.htm
Theres a new thing for the 360 and thats Project NATAL, which is like the state of the art video/audio recognition sensor. It may prove as dangerous as the Wii motes though..
Things to look out for:
A new accessory (NATAL)
Splinter Cell ConViction
FF13
Modern Warefare 2
L4D2
Forza Motorsport 3
Joy Ride, for your avatars
and Metal Gear Solid is back for the Xbox!! yeeah!
It appears to me that htis year's selection of games are more .."complete"..more "Solid" than last years which was like glitchy and crap. I don't mean that to all games, just some, with the exception of L4D, maybe-just maybe Fable 2, and sort of Gears 2..
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Gotta Love this Song
-It makes me laugh every time, but it is "oh-so-cool!". Source: lyricstime.com
[spoken]
This is the greatest and best song in the world... Tribute.
Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here,
we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
[sung]
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul." (soul)
[spoken]
Well me and Kyle, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."
[sung]
And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.
Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two, two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
And the grass doth grow...
Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his schwumpy tail,
And the beast was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
Rock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!
This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin' song the greatest song in the world.
[Skat]
[spoken]
And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the song we sang on that fateful night it didn't actually sound
anything like this song.
[sung]
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
[skat]
All right! All right!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Fsck, No! Fuck!
From now on, I'll be explicit...enough..will you?